Super Fantastical #5: S.T.E.V.E.S

Welcome to the fifth installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate.


Planet Martha

STEVES: Hello Madam, I am S-T-E-V-E-S, but you can call me STEVES.

Princess: Hello STEVES, I have awaited your arrival. The Seer has told me that the universe is in danger.

STEVES: That is correct, Madam.

Princess: What is it this time? An ancient plague? A fleet of Dracvinian battleships?

STEVES: Far worse, Madam. The Intergalactic Federation has enacted the Female Equality ruling, using the power of The Council to override the power of The People.

Princess: Holy Jeberdee!

STEVES: Indeed Madam.

Princess: STEVES, what will we do?

STEVES: Error, anomaly in my memory system found. I believe I am getting hacked.

Princess: Oh no! Quick, turn off your wi-fi or something!

*STEVES’ eye turns from blue to red*

Bad STEVES: Die

*Bad STEVES fires a laser—Which is abruptly cut off for dramatic effect*

Planet Homo(sapien)

(note, first ‘Homo’ shows up, then ‘sapien’ slowly fades in next to it)

*Show the Earth from far away and play dramatic music*

*Slowly zoom in*

*Slowly*

*Slower*

*Jumpscare everyone with the sound of loud engine and make a ship suddenly drift into view*

Horgus: I’m approaching Planet 35. I will be handing off the important information to the Contact.

???: Sure thing, Horgus. Remember, that important information is really important. Don’t lose it.

Horgus: Got it.

*Horgus lands the ship in the middle of a desert*

Horgus: What language do these people speak, again?

???: This species is still quite primitive and there is no shared language among them. You are in the area known as ‘Mexico’, so I will set your vocal translabobulator to Mexican.

Horgus: Thanks.

???: Haha.

Horgus: What?

???: I’m sorry, it’s just that Mexican is quite a funny language. I have no idea what the Dracvinians were thinking when they created their language based on sound vibrations from slapping their genitals between their thighs even though they had perfectly normal vocal cords.

Horgus: Should I prepare my penis to speak with these people?

???: I’ve equipped your suit with some Dracvinian lube, you should speak Mexican with perfect fluency.

3 Hours of Trekking Through The Desert Later…

*Horgus walks into a diner with his penis limp and ready to speak Mexican*

Horgus: clap clap clop clap clop clap (Hello, I am quite thirsty, does anyone have any water?)

*Everyone stares awkwardly at Horgus*

Horgus (whispering): Hey, wasn’t the keyword water?

???: Yes, I thought it was.

Contact: clup clup clep clop clap (Oh yes, I have some water.)

*Horgus walks in the direction of the noise and notices the mysterious cloaked figure that was sitting in the corner of the room the entire time*

Horgus: clep clop clurp (Hello, stranger)

Contact: clep clep clep (Sit down, sit down)

Horgus: clop clop clep (I have the important information)

Contact: You can stop doing that now.

Horgus: Oh okay.

Contact: You can call me Mac, I assume you have the information?

Horgus: Yes, all of the information is in this pendant.

*Horgus holds up a USB drive*

Mac the Contact: Ah, Princess was smart to use primitive technology. There is no chance of being tracked with this.

Horgus: Wait.

Mac the Contact: What?

Horgus: Did you hear that?

Mac the Contact: Hear what?

*There’s a loud bang, a squad of troops storms into the diner*

Troop 1: clep clop clop clop (Where is Mac Guffin)

Mac the Contact: Shit.

*Horgus pulls out his gun, but it gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls out another gun, but it too gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls a knife out from his coat, but it (surprise) is shot out of his hand*

*Horgus is finally captured*

Troop 1: Boss, we have Mac.

*Horgus winks at Mac as he is dragged away*

Eroc’s Battleship

Eroc: Hello, Mac.

Horgus: Hi.

Eroc: Hey can you pull your pants up we aren’t in Mexico anymore.

Horgus: Oh okay.

*Horgus pulls his pants back up*

Eroc: Anyways, do you know what a pain you have been, Mac?

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Your days of troubling me are no more. Give me the important information and I will make your death painless.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Mac, tell me, where is the important information.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Fuckin’ Mac, never answering me.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Mac’s Ship

*Mac jumps into his ship and immediately starts pressing a lot of important buttons*

Mac: Computer, navigate to the location on this USB drive.

Computer: Aight bro.

Mac: Love you bro.

Computer: Nice ass bro.

Mac: Broooo.

Computer: Brooooooooooo.

Planet Martha (But It’s Red And Shit)

*Camera slowly zooms in on Planet Martha. It is now red and evil looking.*

Mac: This is the place?

Computer: Yeah. That’s weird, there are no defense systems.

Mac: Where’s the Asset?

Computer: Aha! I found a heat signal on the middle of that ominous storm.

Mac: Nice job bro!

Computer: Thanks bro.

Mac: No problem bro.

*Mac lands the ship and gets off*

Computer: Mac, I detect an incomin—

*A big laser hits Mac’s ship and it explodes dramatically, sending Mac flying backwards*

*Eroc’s ship flies past*

Mac: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOO!!!

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Princess: I heard something.

STEVES: i-I h-He-Ard n-Nothing, m-Maam.

*Turns around, reveals massive scar over right eye*

STEVES: m-Maam, I d-Detect s-Some h-Heat si-g-Gnatures n-Nearby.

Princess: Wonderful, let them in. I’ve been waiting a few days for this moment.

*Mac walks in*

Mac: Whoa! Was that a teleportation beam?

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Holy shit your eye!

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Do you have the Asset?

Princess: Yes.

STEVES: i-I a-Am t-The a-Ass-Et. i c-Contain i-Infor-Mation o-N t-The c-Council’s p-Plans.

Mac: Cool!

Princess: My duty is over.

*Princess pulls out a vaporizer and shoots herself, she is instantly vaporized*

Mac: WHAT THE FUCK.

STEVES: t-Take m-Me t-To t-The p-People’s h-Headquaters. T-They’ll k-Know w-What t-t-to d-Do.

Mac: Bro she just killed herself!

STEVES: t-That h-Hoe d-Deserv-Ved i-It.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: So. Like. Why is The Council doing this?

Eroc: The Female Equality plan will eradicate all males from the universe, preventing all future wars, rapes, wage inequality, disease, death, and old age.

Horgus: What the fuck.

Eroc: I don’t know man these people are wack. They’re bribed all our officials and I’m just carrying out my job here.

Horgus: Why don’t you help us rebel?

Eroc: They have my family.

Horgus: Where are they?

Eroc: Th-they have my family!

Horgus: You look a little pale man.

Eroc: Haaa, haaaaa~

Horgus: Are you okay?

Eroc: I-I don’t know.

Horgus: Wait, aren’t you an Orgers?

Eroc: Yeah…

Horgus: You reproduce asexually and live solitary lives, don’t you?

*Eroc faints*

*Horgus walks over to Eroc’s body*

Horgus: I knew it, brainwashing.

*Horgus pulls Eroc’s three eyelids open and plucks out a thin wire*

*A massive electronic tentacle slithers out, attached to the wire, Horgus stomps on it*

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Thank you for fixing my vocal transcodponderer.

Mac: No problem, bro. It definitely isn’t because it’s really annoying to t-Ty-pe l-Like t-This.

STEVES: Understandable.

Mac: So how do we get off this planet?

STEVES: Your ship?

Mac: It got blown up by Eroc’s ship.

STEVES: Is Eroc’s ship still here?

Mac: I think so.

STEVES: Is Eroc your friend?

Mac: What. no! He’s a bad guy!

STEVES: Hacking Eroc’s Ship…

Mac: Can you hack faster.

STEVES: Sure.

*Montage of STEVES beeping and booping, dramatically, with dramatic music in the background to show how dramatic it is*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: Why is the ship descending.

Eroc: I have no clue.

Horgus: I think we’re getting hacked.

Eroc: How can you tell.

Horgus: Well, the computer is glitching out and shit.

Eroc: But aren’t you supposed to be sneaky when you hack something. Opening a bunch of tabs remotely is really useless.

Horgus: What do we do?

Eroc: Get me another keyboard. I’m going to out-hack this hacker.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Shiiiiit, they have another keyboard. This guy is typing commands back faster than I am!

Mac: What can we do?

STEVES: Do you have sunglasses?

Mac: Yeah.

STEVES: Put them on me, I don’t have any arms so just put them on right there.

Mac: Where.

STEVES: There.

Mac: Bro you’re just sitting there.

STEVES: PUT THE FUCKING GLASSES OVER MY FUCKING EYES.

Mac: Okay okay.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Eroc: Oh my god he’s hacking back!

Horgus: I’m on it.

*Horgus brings in two extra monitors*

Eroc: Alright, now we’re talking.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: Alright, I’m going to start mumbling a bunch of advanced terms.

STEVES: Do it.

Mac: CPU, GPU, PNG, GIF, JIF, GJIF, JGIF—

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

*Smoke begins pouring out of the control panel*

Horgus: Shit shit shit!

Eroc: They got to the mainframe before I could activate the subjugate firewall using the CPU to overclock the GPUs cache. We’ve lost all control.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: We did it!

STEVES: I’m… sorry… human…

*Smoke pours out of STEVES shell and all of his lights flicker out*

*A small tray pops out holding a crystal*

*Mac picks up the crystal, and he is suddenly engulfed in bright white light*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: We’re being boarded!

Eroc: It was nice while it lasted man. Thanks for unbrainwashing me.

Horgus: No problem man. I’ll see you on the other side.

*Mac walks out of the boarding pod*

Mac: What the—

Horgus: Mac!

Eroc: What?

Horgus: Oh yeah, he’s Mac and my name’s actually Horgus.

Eroc: This entire time I’ve been living a lie?

Mac: What’s happening? Isn’t he the bad guy?

Eroc: You’ll pay for this!

*Eroc jumps into an escape pod and is shot out into space*

Horgus: Wait, do you have the Asset?

Mac: Got it right here.

*Mac shows him the crystal*

Horgus: Nice job!

Mac: Now we need to take this back to headquarters.

Horgus: Well, we do have this Dracvinian battleship…

Mac: Hell yeah!

30 minutes later (Dracvinian battleships are very fast)

Horgus: This crystal contains The Council’s next tactical move. Mac, put it in the reader.

Mac: Got it.

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Oooohhhh. aaah.

Computer: Reading memory crystal…

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Ooohhhhhh. aahhhhh.

Computer: Oops, it was a trap.

*Computer shuts off*

Horgus: What?

Mac: Oh no! All of our important information was on that!

Member of Crowd: Didn’t you take a backup?

Mac: …No.

*screen fades to black*

*The following text slowly scrolls into view*

Always backup your data

~The End~

Project 11 – Chapter 1

Welcome to Refurbished Writing, a series where I revise and polish the old web stories that I originally worked on for this website (two years ago).

The following story was originally created for Enchoseon.wordpress.com from late 2016 to really early 2018 and it was re-discovered and polished over the span of a few days.

I tried to keep it as close to the original as possible while removing a lot of junk. (I kept the original cringe chapter names).

If you are one of the 1,129 people who read the series on my old WordPress, I congratulate you on sticking with me for so long.

About Project 11

Project 11 was a placeholder name for the main web serial I wrote on Enchoseon.wordpress.com. Unfortunately, I tore it down when I changed gears and began writing blog posts on Enchoseon.com instead.

It has a fond place in my heart, but its still very messy and lacking coherency.

This web serial was created back when I was playing Va-11 Hall-A, an awesome VN that you should go play right the fuck now.

I used a lot of characters and things from Ysbryd Games’ stuff (eg Read-Only Memories) because of how much I love them.

This story was NOT created as fanfiction and does NOT fit into the plot of Va-11 Hall-A or any of the worldbuilding. I built the entire world from scratch and threw in things I liked as a reminder of what got me started.

I still haven’t completed Va-11 Hall-A. I hope I get the free time to play it again soon. It’s been about two years since I stopped playing. I really want to play it again and actually reach a single goddamn ending. However, I haven’t found any time in the past two years for me to fully chill and enjoy playing it. I really shouldn’t hold this off for much longer, because I guess its only downhill from here ;C

This is chapter 1 of 4. I have yet to finish going through Chapter 2, so for now this is Chapter 1, and Chapter 1 only.


Chapter 1: Glimmering City

December 20, 2998

The slow patter of rain echoed through the city. Every drop glistened and sparkled in the night air before hitting the pavement. The fiercely bright city lights illuminated the sky in a plethora of bursting colors. A thick blanket of multi-colored clouds blocked the moon.

Sparkling with the rain, damp concrete became a meaningless grey blur. The wet ground created a phantasmic reflection of the sky.

Light fog enveloped the streets and bitter winds blew. It was silent. The thin haze played with distance and light—Twisting it, blocking it.

Footsteps echoed. The figure took a shuddering breath as he stepped out of an alley and onto an empty street.

He took an apprehensive step forward followed by a shaky gasp. Shuddering, he leaned against a wall. A billowing gray cloud of vapor left his hood. Shrouded in the dim streetlamp, he spun around slowly, gazing in awe of the vibrant colors far above his head.

He wasn’t sure of many things at that moment, but he knew one thing for certain: My hands are about to freeze off.

He smiled, and began down the street.

As he walked, the pitter-patter of the rain grew louder. Neon signs flickered and shook.

He increased his stride.

Raindrops collided with the ground, forming a low monotonous ring that vibrated the air with power. The vibrations reached deep into his chest.

The rain grew into a downpour, and the vibrations deafening. The man continued, faster and faster. His shoes clicked with the concrete with each step. His ragged breath became more erratic and clumsy.

His thin shoes were soaked. Their cloth changed to a darker shade in the rain. The rain sparkled with the sky and slid around the edges before splattering against the floor.

Thump. The noise reverberated through the street. The figure stopped and lost his footing, both of his feet skidding forwards a few inches.

He slowly spun around, searching for the source of the thump.

Thump thump. On the other side of the street was a small window. The sign above it read out in bright red, “Dana’s Eatery and Bar”. The sign had nearly gone out, it was dim and slowly flickered, buzzing louder than the rain.

A girl sat by the semi-circle window wearing a small blue bow. She waved at him.

Something about her struck the man as peculiar. She waved at him through the glass before pointing to her right—At the entrance. She beckoned eagerly and sat down, watching intently. Her hazel eyes sparkled with the rain.

She got up again. Thump thump thump.

“Alright, fine” he mumbled.

The man went over to the entrance. The rain pelted him with heavy stinging drops. The large metal door towered above him. Rust covered most of the door and the paint was peeling, or was it the metal?

He groped around in the darkness for a latch or lever, but couldn’t find one. Crouching down, he tried feeling around in the shadows near the bottom of the door.

He stood up, but tripped and slammed his face against the metal. The door budged and began sliding slowly to the right. It screeching and clanked, creating a cacophonous ring. A warm beam of light flowed out of the doorway and welcomed him.

Without thinking, he dashed in.

Better than the rain, he thought.

Once inside, he pulled down his hood and peeled off his jacket before hanging it around his arm.

He was in his twenties. Black-framed glasses were perched on his nose, they had tiny water droplets on them. He took them off and wiped them with the inner part of his jacket. He carefully surveyed the bar, but could only see dimly lit shapes and patterns.

He put his glasses back on.

There were a few people sitting at the front, but they were busy talking among one another and hadn’t noticed him enter. The door, without warning, slid shut with a loud clang, closing off much faster than it had opened. Startled, he stepped forward instinctively.

A jukebox in the corner of the room softly played, drowning out the muffled sound of rain.

To his far-right sat the girl who had been waving at him through the window. She was sitting at a table by the window. She waved at him frantically, mouthing something excitedly.

He walked over to her and pulled out the chair opposite from hers. The rain pounded against the glass silently. He picked his jacket off his arm and draped it around the back of his chair. The tension in his shoulders eased as he let out a long sigh. His hands were numb and ached, but he was glad to be out of the cold.

The girl looked at him for a few seconds with a blank stare.

A multitude of worries flashed through his mind at lightning speed. But, before he could finish, she began speaking.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lilly!”

The man stumbled over his thoughts before replying. “I’m Brand”.

She leaned across the table and gave him a small tablet.

Brand looked at the text and discovered he couldn’t read it. Shit.

Lilly shyly took the tablet back, “Um, so… you weren’t looking for this?”

He replied, unsure, “Yeah.”

She fell back into her chair for some time. “I’ll get you a drink to make up for this.”

He pushed his chair back and stood up. “No—I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.”

“It’s fine! It’s on me!”

A flash of lightning briefly filled the room with blinding white light.

A rumble of thunder followed in quick succession. The floor shook violently, throwing Brand off-balance. He stumbled over his chair in surprise and landed flat on his back. Black dots filled his vision. He blinked a few times.

Glass clinked and liquid sloshed. Brand glanced through the window and saw yellow sparks.

Holy shiit.

“Look’s like the storm is really picking up out there” stated one of the men sitting at the bar. He had been in the middle of a sip, his white t-shirt was stained dirty yellow.

A black sheet of metal slowly descended over the entrance door, whirring loudly.

“Attention all customers, we are currently going into lockdown due to the thunderstorm” Jill announced.

“They didn’t tell us there was going to be lightning!” complained one of the men sitting at the bar.

“Hey Jill, how long is the storm gonna last?” Lilly asked.

Jill wiped some spilled lemon zest into her hands, “I reckon it’ll be a few hours, the ones that creep up on you always are,” she threw the zest into a bin and wiped her hands on her apron, “You want anything?”

“Yup! Two Sugar Rushes please!”

Brand exhaled sharply, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He stood up and sat back down on his chair.

“Do you know a place I can stay for the night?” he asked.

“Yup!”

He waited for her to elaborate on this, but got nothing.

Lilly stood up and walked over to the bar and returned with two highball glasses.

“Try some, it’s good!” She handed him a glass.

Brand stared at the glass. It was filled with a pink slush.

Lilly watched him intently through her glass.

Feeling pressured, he took a small sip and discovered it tasted like strawberries. He couldn’t hide his interest and took another, realizing that it tasted like sugar. He took another, and another.

Feeling a small hint of relief, he took a final refreshing gulp and rested his head on his arm, staring at his reflection in the glass. Lilly followed suit, and they stared at the rain streaking down the glass.

Brand felt waves of drowsiness wash over him. The ethereal rain slowed with the music and the lights began to dim. His eyelids became heavier and heavier, until he finally closed his eyes.

Soon he was fast asleep with his face on the table. The rain outside slowly dissipated and the metal barricade began to roll up. The storm was over.


Lilly curled her hands into a small fist and lightly knocked on Brand’s unconscious head. When that didn’t work she clenched her fist and applied moderate force.

He sprung up. “What the—”

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

Holding back a grimace, Brand reached around his head, “Wait, where are my glasses?”

Lilly gave him his glasses. “From the way you were turning, you almost crushed them.”

He put them on, “Thanks.” He blinked a few times and looked through the glass pane, “Hey, the rain stopped!”

The clouds outside had thinned out and a tiny bit of sunlight streamed through. It was still early, but the city was coming to life as people churned through the streets.

Lilly burst out of her chair, “Oh, I know!”

“Huh?”

“Let’s go get something for breakfast!”

I don’t have any money.

Lilly grabbed his arm and dragged him out the front door, “Bye Jill!”

It wasn’t bright outside, but Brand still held up his hands to shield his eyes from the sun. Lilly weaved through the crowd as he stumbled after her, desperately trying to catch up.

Why am I following her? I should just run.

Lilly turned around and smiled, “Over here!”

She took a sharp right and began dashing down the street even faster than before.

Lilly quickly came to a stop in front of a door. “Here!”

The door was a plastic shell that mimicked wood and had dull green paint. A brass plate above it read, “Pastries & Confectionery Emporium.”

Lilly stepped behind Brand and propelled him into the bakery, “C’mon slowpoke.”


The spongy cake bounced around on Brand’s spoon as he tried to take a bite. It jumped off his spoon just before he could take a bite and dove onto his pants. He picked it up with his thumb and forefinger before popping it into his mouth.

Lilly lifted her fork and pointed at him, “That’s gonna leave a stain.”

Surely enough, there was a small brown stain on his black slacks. He grabbed a napkin and rubbed furiously.

Lilly giggled, “I told you to get the pancakes. But did you listen? Nooooooo.

“Yeah, but those cost more” Brand replied, still vigorously wiping.

Lilly took a big bite of her blueberry pancake, “What’s the point of treating you to breakfast if you’re not even gonna eat? Jeez, I’ll just do it for you.”

She raised her hand, a waitress came over. “Excuse me, I’d like a plate of chocolate waffles.”

The waitress nodded, took a questioning glance at Brand and looked at Lilly with raised eyebrows, received no response, shrugged, and walked away.

Destroy the Public #1: Victims and Mobs

Keep in mind that I’m an observer making an analysis, which, in essence, is just an educated guess from a rather uneducated person. I am also making these words annoyingly bright red in order to get the point across that I’m disclaiming all future accusations under the basis excuse that I am stupid and you shouldn’t trust a random guy on the internet. Also worth noting is that this isn’t a satirical piece, just highly sarcastic.

“I love teaching freshmen!”

“Mrs. ___, you’re our fav teacher, will we see you next year?”

“Hell no, I hate sophomores.”

Now that I’m a sophomore, I’ve realized why sophomores suck.

It’s the sheer amount of drama. It’s absolutely and positively horrendous.

As a pacifist observer, my main goal is to not become a nihilist. My secondary goal is to understand the behind-the-scenes when drama breaks out. I don’t mean reading into the drama and getting personally attached to a topic, I mean reading into why people can be so cruel in the first place.

People can be all sorts of horrible, sadistic, and depressing. As the guy with zero presence in a room, I have had my fair share of people using my head as a medium for their gossip, so, after forming some thoughts and whatnot, I’ve compiled this post.

Table of Contents:

The Character Playbook

~ The ‘Real’ Victim Playbook ~
(aka “I have real evidence”)

Defensive Moves:
1. Pick the truest and most coherent story and be more honest to avoid getting caught lying.
2. Use real evidence, people will be sensitive and have sympathy. Use that sympathy before someone beats you to the punch.

Offensive Moves:
1. Look for the bizarre, unrelated statements that are substituting the solid evidence in the opposing groups’ claims.
2. Your goal is to destroy the other victims’ bogus defense before the Mob turns on you.
3. When you make a statement, you have to defend it.

~ The Fake Victim Playbook ~
(aka “I have no real evidence”)

Defensive Moves:
1. Construct a story that fits previous claims while shitting on the preferred party. Have no inconsistencies, and meld perfectly into the truth.
2. Fabricate evidence by taking things out of context, people will be sensitive and have sympathy. Use that sympathy before someone beats you to the punch.
3. Do not focus on creating statements that validate other victims, focus on creating statements that coexist with the real facts without denying them.

Offensive Moves:
1. Rapidly attack, overload the playing field with bogus statements so that there is too much to dispute.
2. Your goal is to destroy the other victims’ powerful offense.
3. Be confident. Be more specific, vivid, and rallying than others. Skew people’s perspectives before the other parties win. Be brutal.
4. When you make a statement, you have to defend it.

~ The Observer Playbook ~

Defensive Moves:
1. Observe.

Offensive Moves:
1. Be saddened and leave.

~ The Truthist Playbook ~

1. Identify discrepancies between all stories.

2. Identify as much unrelated, bogus defense as possible, that is the Fake Victims’ defense.

3. Identify gaslighting when ‘abuse’ pops up.

4. Identify the misuse of statistics as solid facts.

5. Identify unsubstantiated POV statements from fact.

6. Identify groundbreaking statements that lack evidence.

7. Identify statements as ethos, pathos, and logos (just for organization.)

8. Identify details omitted (on purpose or by accident). Keep in mind you are not entitled to missing details and you have to fill in the blanks yourself.

9. Identify other parties and their statements.

10. Identify responses that were screwed-up (eg: a bad apology letter) and assess if it can be used as evidence or if it’s just a goof-up under pressure. Smart people will probably follow up a screwed-up apology with a legitimately good apology + explanation as well.

11. Identify statements that were not defended after being attacked.

12. Identify nice statements that are not good. Being and nice and being good are unrelated.

13. Identify false sexual misconduct allegations created to end people’s careers. False allegations may be a minority, but in a heated situation, they may be used to permanently deface someone. (eg Brett Kavanaugh getting defaced by evidenceless accusations1)

14. Identify aggression that is not abuse.

15. Identify initial responses and follow-up responses, then look for discrepancies.

16. Identify the abuse of reputation. Reputation does not alter the truth.

17. Identify stalemates. Not everything is a ‘one point scored for this team’ scenario.

Situational Hazards

Statements are more important than the Mob

The Mob is not a part of the evidence. Do not trust the Mob.

Evidence Can Beat Mobs… Eventually

Legitimate, good evidence increases the chance that a popular fact-checking YouTuber convinces people that one side is right.

Bad Reputation Can Only Be Solved By The Victim, But There’s A Time Limit

Relying on other people to save your ass does not work. Important, incriminating statements must be refuted ASAP to flip a situation. The moment the public interest dies out, reputations will stay locked and forever tainted. Unless public interest can be regained in a number bigger than the initial fame (which it rarely does, because by that point the meme is ‘dead’), everything that is screwed up, stays screwed up.

Take, for example, the popular porn site Hentaihaven. There was a brief miscommunication between the owner of Hentaihaven and FAKKU, a company offering to supply Hentaihaven with legitimate content licenses. This resulted in a massive hate campaign against FAKKU. This hate was NOT from longtime FAKKU haters (who have their own legitimate and well-made reasons), but from people mindlessly bandwagoning. Both parties resolved and publicly stated that everything was a misunderstanding, but the public popularity had already died out.

Powerful Victims Cannot Snap Statements Out of Existence With The Power of Empathy and Support, But They Can Do Serious Damage

The more a situation seems extremely black & white, the more power victims will have over a Mob. Therefore, a ‘fake’ victim’s goal would be to make the Mob be in their favor before the tide turns.

Mobs cannot vaporize good, well-made points, however, they can vaporize people’s Twitter accounts, Instagram accounts, etc. However, Mobs cannot vaporize people themselves. This does not mean Mobs are not dangerous, Mobs are extremely dangerous.

Big And Small Power Interactions Cause Tension

Smaller powers have to be suspicious of being manipulated. They have less room to retaliate if attacked and cannot afford to screw up.

Bigger powers have a reputation to uphold, therefore any scandals and accusations that could pop up would be disastrous.

When these powers interact, it creates massive amounts of tension.

The Person Who Starts A Fire Could Get Caught On Fire

This is the truth.

The Power of the Mob Will ALWAYS Backfire On Itself

…If it doesn’t stop or die out fast enough. The longer a Mob exists, the chances of the Mob fucking itself increases to 1.

Statements From Primary Sources

They are not the truth.

Paraphrasing Other People

Is also not the truth.

We Are In The Age of Technology

We always have been, it’s just that we’re better than before, and in the future people will be better than us (if humanity plays its cards right and doesn’t kill everything with a nuclear war.)

Drama happens online. Statements are made online.

The primary source is NOW AVAILABLE. Original statements are NOW AVAILABLE.

You no longer need to paraphrase something in order to as close to the primary source as possible, you can just look at the primary source’s Tweet history.

The telephone game still certainly exists, especially with media battling to see who gets to tell a story first.

But, in the end, it’s on the normal people (aka ‘The Public’) to avoid becoming a mindless Mob and to live by the Truthist Playbook.

The Golden Rule (For Victims): Evidence in a timely manner trumps everything, depending on if you aren’t completely screwed over already. The Mob is a tool that you have to use before someone else does.

Super Fantastical #4: Climate Change Does NOT Exist?! (CONFIRMED BY UNIVERSITY OF CANBRIDGE)

This article was co-authored by Fi M.D. of Canbridge University2.

Steve Doleman, the co-founder of the Weather Watcher, revealed his thoughts on climate change.

Climate change does not exist. Glaciers are increasing, heat waves are diminishing, and humans have no part in climate change. Believe me, I’ve been studying this for years before it was even political.”
—Doleman

When questioned about his lack of academic credentials, Doleman laughed, “look, I don’t need credentials. Once you’ve sat in my chair for 7 years, you just gain the respect and knowledge of someone with credentials.”

Despite Doleman not giving out any legitimate evidence in any of his claims, he definitely has a point, and we are going to support them with our own legitimate claims.

A) There has been NO global warming since Earth’s CREATION

The planet’s temperature has actually not changed ever since the universe began.

Image result for solar system

Scientific testing by the University of Canbridge confirmed this with a group of amateur geologists equipped with a homemade seismometer.

#2 The logic doesn’t make any sense

As a single person living in an apartment barely making ends meet even with a degree, not only do I not have the time to worry about the minuscule imaginary ‘carbon footprint‘ I have, but we should also be working on solving the obvious problems with the system that makes hardworking individuals like me stagnate.

Reason D: ‘Climate models’ are completely FALSE

Climate models are a fancy way to say, “people with basic credentials” (aka scientists and experts) making guesses on what will happen in the future.

Imagine a room of monkeys writing RANDOM things. That’s exactly what happens in these so-called “labs” and “esteemed universities”.

These institutions only exist for the money that the dumbfounded populace will donate to!

Remember when Luke Sharon of NASA Official Fans said that California would be SUBMERGED by 2007?

Or, when the CEO of NASA stated that the Isle of Man would be 2,500 degrees celsius by 1886? Even more ironic, the Isle of Man is actually the world’s largest supplier of frozen treats!

Image result for ice cream

And, the most stupid claim those ‘experts‘ make? You’ll be enraged by their ‘theories’!

Apparently, a chemical compound called ‘Carbon Dioxide’ creates ‘global warming’!?

Yes, the same ‘chemical compound’ that you and I and literally every living thing on Earth breathes out! Cows breathe it out. Plants breathe it out. Humans breathe it out.

CO2 IS COMPLETELY NATURAL!

It’s like those goddamn experts thought that demonizing any chemical would work. It would be a lot more believable if it was something that was ACTUALLY dangerous like Plutonium.

Image result for test tube


Article Updates:

  • Correction: Article previously mispelled Canbridge as Cambridge, this error has been fixed.
  • Exegesis: Added links to ALL information for so-called ‘fact-checkers’.
  • Metamorphose: Article previously forgot to mention Luke Sharon’s outstanding failures as a ‘professional’.
  • Transmogrification: Bolded important key terms and made emotional parts red for ease of READABILITY.

Please share this article with anyone that you are aware of that STILL believes climate change is REAL. Which is isn’t, duh

Other Super Fantasticals

Super Fantastical #3: Super Fantastical Quest RPG


Welcome to Super Fantastical Quest, the most important RPG you’ll ever play in your lifetime!

You are probably wondering what makes Super Fantastical Quest so damn good, so let me tell you in a couple of bullet points

  • You can slay dragons and gods
  • You can use an intuitive xp-gold trading system
  • You can experience smooth framerates and neat pixel art
  • You can rescue princesses

Seriously, it’s the best game you’ll ever play.

You can play the game online by clicking the big link below.

this picture is the link to the game get it haha

Other Super Fantasticals

Unofficial Hentaihaven Updates

Last Updated: July 12, 2019

Important Links


Hello fellow gamers, Hentaihaven has been experiencing some turbulence and lots has been happening.

In order to sort some things out, I decided to make a page dedicated to monitoring Hentaihaven.

This site will be experiencing its own turbulence with the transfer of some ownership of some things until July 11, so I recommend joining the RSS feed.2

Anyways, here is the super-fast summary of what has happened.

#HHAintDead (New)

So now we finally have a clear-er-ish view of what’s been happening.

Unfortunately, PapaHH’s original tweets opened Pandora’s box. The harassment and threats against FAKKU will not end and even though the longtime haters of FAKKU have their reasons, I suspect a vast majority of the hate against FAKKU is from PapaHH’s tweet enraging the masses.

It is great that everything was sorted out, but it is extremely disappointing how a lot of the community has resorted to hating FAKKU without seeing the whole picture. This was the whole reason I created this page, anyways.

Considering how FAKKU was a potential partner for HH for years, it’s clear that the part of the HH community turning on FAKKU either did so mindlessly or without enough information.

It’s also odd how FAKKU was originally cheered by everyone when they said they would help HH and now, after a misunderstanding, there are no messages of goodwill despite the news being good.

It sucks horribly, and I highly recommend that everyone reading this please share PapaHH’s tweet with as many people as possible. FAKKU is getting hate for the wrong reasons entirely, and if you hate FAKKU for legitimate reasons you should also be interested in stopping the mindless hate because your opinion won’t get heard through the noise, either.

Thanks. (And yes, this page will still get updated.)

The #HHisDown Thing (Old)

Hentaihaven nearly shut down a couple of times, but that’s in the past. What’s happening now is its own thing and we’ll be focusing solely on that since there is a lot to cover anyways.

  • HH heard news from FAKKU that a lawsuit would be arriving. (Fair enough since HH is a pirating site and FAKKU used to be a pirating site before they obtained legit licenses.)
  • FAKKU offered to sort out HH with some licenses, an absolute lifesaver.

The owner of HH tweeted and also sent to Hentaihaven: (and also deleted, because of reasons stated below)

This post will be removed soon so here’s the truth about what’s happening with HH.

I’m the creator of HH, and I’ve been silent for too long because I had hope things would work out. Unfortunately, it isn’t going to.

HH, as you know it, is dead. FAKKU has completely taken over and booted me out. First red flag was this BS re-launch they did without even telling me. Hell, they completely stopped talking to me as soon as I handed over the website and social media credentials. Thankfully, they were stupid enough to keep using my damn CDN so I can get one last message out to you guys.

It fucking sucks it has come to this. HH was my passion project, my baby. I worked on every little detail, wrote the taglines yo ulaughed at, designed the layout, posted the videos and helped create the community we all know and love. I couldn’t have done any of it without an awesome team to support me, and I’m thankful to every single one of you.

I had such high hopes about this whole thing. I remember emailing FAKKU in 2016 telling them about a vision I had of HH being the crunchyroll of Hentai. I’ve been talking to them for years on and off, I trusted them. But things never quite lined up for us to work together. When FAKKU told me (conveniently) about some legal trouble headed my way and offered to bail me out last year, I was elated. I still am in fact. But had I known that [it] would’ve cost me my entire website, my baby, I would’ve fucking gone at it on my own, spending every cent I had to protect this community. FAKKU told me everything I wanted to hear, offering me equity, employment, all that. Told me we can’t put all that in the contract right now cause the company hasn’t been officially registered yet and I took them at their word. Turns out, people lie. A whole LOT when money is involved.

So what’s next? I got a few ideas. Follow my exploits over at @realpapahh for any announcements. DM if you want. I got that newly unemployed free time.

TLDR; FAKKU played me like a cum-stained violin.

Jacob Grady (that one FAKKU person that we didn’t know existed) replied:

To dispel some of the rumors going around. PapaHH shut down HH after being alerted of legal threats from Japan.

I was in a position to help make HH legitimate and agreed to help negotiate on their behalf. Together, we had been working on licensing and converting their content and services into ones where fans would be given the option to further support the actual creators of the content. During this process, FAKKU did not make any money.

PapaHH helped create an incredible community at HH, and that’s what we wanted to save. But there are a lot more people responsible for it than just him. I plan on reaching out and seeing if this can be worked out, and to be clear: if shutting HH down is what PapaHH wants, I would be supportive.

But, I do firmly believe that continuing to make millions off of piracy and not giving part of that money to HH’s staff, the creators in Japan, etc. is not an option, and that’s what was happening before I got involved.

And then HH replied:

Wow, a prompt response from Fakku? Only time I’ve seen that happen is when they want something from me. Funny how effective a public shitstorm is.

Since we’re all here, let’s settle the bullshit before it even gathers steam. Sound good?

Alright then,

Notice how he didn’t refute anything I said in my original statement.

When Jacob says, “FAKKU didn’t make any money”, ask yourself why on Earth would he help me out if there’s nothing in it for him? I’ll tell you why. He owns 100% of HH now, a company he himself values at over a million dollars. How do I know that? When I asked him if I can save 20% of my own company, he said “sure, if you pay me $200k”.

I know HH wasn’t legally licensed, just like FAKKU wasn’t – until the FBI cam knocking on their door. Why do you think I contacted FAKKU in 2016, back when HH wasn’t big? When HH was on nobody’s radar? Why did I contact them specifically? Because I really believed I could follow in their footsteps and turn this into something legitimate. They were in my exact shoes before. I trusted them more because of it. It made perfect sense to team up. At the time though, things didn’t work out. We kept in touch but nothing concrete ever came out of it. Until…

The purge. HH shut down after I “heard” of a potential lawsuit headed my way. I didn’t actually get a lawsuit. The news came from Jacob himself, and it seemed credible enough so I believed him. At the time, he seemed like a savior to me. Offering to swwop in and take over HH and deal with Japanese companies and come to a legal agreement before the lawsuit even gets to me. Brilliant! What more could I want? Hell this is precisely what I wanted all along! Talking with the content creators and the companies directly. However, one little thing he failed to mention was that I wouldn’t be a part of HH after that. You can see how that would rub me the wrong way. He even contractually agreed he’ll handle any lawsuits regarding HH, but what would that act of generosity cost me? My site. The Brand. Everything I built. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have agreed and looked for another way to settle this with the copyright holders. I would’ve gladly paid the “millions” I earned from HH to the creators if it meant I could keep my website. Why wouldn’t I pay the creators, when I know that I could easily make more if I go legit? It’s a no brainer.

About the insinuation that I didn’t pay my staff… ask them yourself. The ONLY time I failed to pay them was when this legal shit popped off and I had to disappear because I legitimately thought I was in trouble. Even then, I paid everyone who had sent me invoices for that month. I paid the rest of my staff for that month as soon as I heard people had outstanding invoices.
When Jacob says “Together, we’ve been working on licensing…”, he’s probably mistaken me for another one of his FAKKU board members cause I have no fucking clue what he has and hasn’t licensed. Honest mistake I’m sure, so we’ll let it slide.

About the fact that HH was more than just me… yeah, obviously. Who’s denying that? My team was the absolute best! But I hope you remember HH was a one man army once upon a time. When no one even knew its name. When it wasn’t on Google. I built it up from nothing. If you think I wasn’t instrumental in HH being what it is today, you’re kidding yourself.

If you’re genuinely interested in fixing this, and willing to give me a fair share, I’d be willing to listen. But written contracts all the way. I ain’t making the same mistake twice.

Peace

Of course, both of HH’s tweets have since been removed (by HH) because the good news is out:

What Now?

We still have a bunch of things to do, such as:

  • Sort out the legitimacy of the tweets.
  • Sort out HH’s timeline and history of problems (it was summarized succinctly enough by HH)
  • Sort out FAKKU’s timeline and history of problems.
  • Pay close attention to see what happens.
  • Update this page a lot, because this page was cobbled together really, really quick.
  • Turn this page into its own thing entirely. Right now I’m using my blog for this, but I plan on rewriting this page from scratch.

The Summary For People Who Skipped Through Everything Above This

HH and FAKKU are working things out. It’s no longer “FAKKU tricked me” and now “we are working to fix this”. Of course, this could change at any time, the legitimacy of everything is still being checked, and HH is on the brink of destruction (just shutting down) or salvation (becoming a legitimate streaming service with licenses provided by FAKKU.)

Thanks for showing interest in the og high-quality hentai-streaming service. Statistically speaking (from Google Search Console from the last HH post), out of 1,000 people who visit this post, zero actually navigate anywhere else on this site, which is great.

Sad boi hours aside, let’s sit back and hope that HH recovers.

Super Fantastical #2: How To Be Authentic (wikiHow)

Welcome to the second installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate stories.

Something I would like to get out of the way is that these articles are not serious in any way and are only meant to be a way for me to vent out my extreme teenage sarcasm, which should disappear when I mature into a handsome likable adult version of me.

I spent some time trying to format this page to look more like a wikiHow page but it didn’t turn out very good.


How To Be Authentic


Related imageCo-authored by Fiddly McDinkles, ABC
Updated: 1.25336437357743574 seconds ago

 


Authenticity is a sought-after trait in a person that is commonly used to describe dreamy friendships that do not exist. Unreliability is usually described as acting differently for each occasion. Therefore an authentic person will act the same way in a courtroom, in a restaurant, funeral, birthday party, marriage, etc. Experts in philosophy or English teachers usually describe authenticity as the constant expression of consistent core values. Unfortunately, these explanations usually only reach the ears of annoying high schoolers that have no clue what their core values are.

Part 1: Starting Up

 

1

Accept yourself. Be ready to endure the highest level of excruciating pain when you realize that you are a husk with no personality or meaningful goals. Realize that you are not a unique individual and will be seen by your superiors as expendable.

  • This also means accepting your unique flaws. After realizing your flaws, be sure to only call them ‘quirks’ in public.

2

Do not delude yourself. You will no doubt have many doubts after realizing your worthlessness in this horrible, impossibly cruel, and shitty world. This will result in your self-esteem becoming more realistic, which will probably lower than you thought it would be.

  • If you feel like your self-esteem is low, be sure that it is realistic, because it might actually need to be lower.
  • If you feel like your self-esteem is fine, be sure that you aren’t just being apathetic. If you legitimately feel that your self-esteem is high, be sure to shut the fuck up about the topic when with others because you are too privileged to do so.

3

Pretend to have personal beliefs and values. You will need to convince people that you have a moral compass that cleanly guides you through your life.

  • Avoid contradicting your imaginary personal beliefs to increase the authenticity people feel around you.
  • Be a weirdo and break conformity in order to make it clear that you are a person that follows their beliefs.
  • Pretend to be fulfilled and happy, this will make people think that you are happy because you are authentic.
  • Get into hobbies or volunteer work to make it seem like you are doing fulfilling work. (Of course, you don’t actually have to do them, you just need to tell people you do them.)
Part 2: Reaping the Benefits

1

Force people to have your beliefs. Command a legion of followers that will do what you say because they believe it will make them fulfilled. Tell them to do things you want them to do and tell them your intuition is telling you.

  • Do not give your followers a chance to break free, destroy all of their external relationships, hobbies, family bonds, etc.
  • Lead them in by lightly suggesting things like, “don’t drink alcohol.” Then sprinkle in your own commands after gaining more trust.

2

Enjoy. You now have a supply of trusting followers, which means that you have influence, trust, money, and all of the things ‘good’ leaders are supposed to have.

  • You are now free to destroy other people’s lives and benefit with the overflow of desperate, ruined people at your doorstep.
  • You will be able to drop the act and sadistically watch your legion of minions fall down to your level and become sobbing worthless trash.
  • Your work complete, you can sit back and relax knowing that you’ve been able to stop some of the evil on this planet, even if by only a little.

Super Fantastical #1: Jane Austenian Romance

Welcome to the first installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate stories.


Chapter The Beginning

Mrs. Blennet smiled, “darling, Mrs. ____ was just telling me the other day how That One Place just received a new tenant.”

Mr. Blennet leaned back in his chair fancifully, “and why would I care?”

“Darling, I think it’d be best to go meet him next week at the ball!”

“Dear, I am going to make myself very clear here, I am not actually going to sound interested in this so that you continue your amusing rambling and then I will continue to mess with you until you are absolutely convinced and it will be then that I do a complete reverse because I am a very sarcastic and amusing character.”

It is at this point that a faceless narrator summarizes what has happened or what will happen. In this case, it is the latter. Unbeknownst to senile old lady, Mr. Blennet had intended to visit the new tenant the whole time.

Chapter The Middle Part

Lydia looked out the window wistfully, “oh I do hope that my dear Lickham returns soon.”

Mrs. Blennet ran into the room, trying not to trip on her skirt like an idiot. “I just saw Mr. Lickham’s carriage coming this way! Everyone, quick, put on your best dresses and hats!”

Mr. Blennet folded his newspaper and put on his glasses fancifully, uncrossing his legs and taking a fanciful sip of tea from the fanciful china Mrs. Blennet had put away somewhere and forgotten about fancifully.

Mr. Blennet stood up and grabbed his fanciful cane and proceeded to greet the new visitors.

Elizabeth overheard  Mr. Blennet greeting the visitors, “I trust you gentlemen had a fanciful journey.”

Elizabeth drew back in shock, “gentlemen? Does that mean, no, it couldn’t!”

Mr. Barcy walked into the house, ducking under the doorway just in time to pull his fancifully tall tophat through.

Mrs. Blennet ducked around the corner and whispered to the girls, “girls, go seduce both of those men. Statistically speaking, at least one of us is bound to score.”

As the girls paraded into the parlor while trying to look as nonchalant as possible, Mrs. Blennet ran around the house rearranging chairs and other furniture into fanciful formations sure to please the visitors.

Chapter A Continuation Of The Last Part

Mr. Lickham greeted Lydia fancifully with a soft romantic kiss that started out awkwardly but ended in an intimate manner with some gasping in between.

Mr. Barcy stood in the corner of the room with a judgemental look in his eyes. Noone dared bother him except Elizabeth.

“Mr. Barcy, you are an asshole” Elizabeth told him.

Mr. Barcy remained composed, “I am not.”

Elizabeth continued, “Mr. Lickham told me.”

Mr. Barcy’s face contorted into a raisin and he dramatically lowered his voice, “be careful around Lickham.” He walked away from Elizabeth and into another corner of the room, brooding mysteriously.

Chapter Whatever

Elizabeth stared in wonder at That One Place. A bunch of adjectives really described it in a wonderfully symbolic way and Elizabeth grimaced at the memory of her turning down Mr. Barcy.

“Wait, does this make me look like a money-hunting whore?” she thought to herself as she entered the fanciful building.

Before she had a chance to mentally escape her self doubts, Mr. Barcy fancifully came down a flight of stairs. Their eyes met, and they both blushed.

Mr. Barcy mustered up his most intimate voice, “greetings, Elizabeth, would you like to have a tour of my estate? My chambermaids can make some pretty good Gyurma sausages.”

He muttered under his breath, “fuck I’m not very good at flirting at all.”

“Mr. Barcy, you are aware that I can still hear your muttering since you’re still close to me, right?” Elizabeth asked.

“Shit, well. Bye then.”

“Bye.”

Mr. Barcy walked back up the fanciful stairs at a fanciful pace, looking back only once because the stairs were in a spiral formation that forced him to look back while he was looking forward because circles are like that.

Chapter The Ending Part

Lady Catherine DeBitch coughed fancifully into Mrs. Blennet’s china set.

“I am here to discuss private matters with Elizabeth” she wheezed.

Everyone except Elizabeth filed out of the room.

“Do not marry my son” DeBitch instructed.

“No.”

“No u.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Fuck.”

DeBitch stood up and left, “I’ll be back.”

Chapter The Ending Part For Real

they got married the end okay

Monopoly-Bot, a Tool for Modding Monopoly

Monopoly is one of my favorite board games.

So, after a 3 hour “coding session” that I wasn’t planning on doing, I ended up with Monopoly-Bot, a super-basic tool for modding Monopoly games that has plenty of potential to be expanded and modified.

Setup

1. Download the game zip file and extract it.

2. Get a TV or some other display next to your Monopoly board and run launcher.bat.

3. Follow the directions that pop up.

All documentation is stashed in comments in-between the code, which should be readable if you know basic batch.

Development

It came out of my ass one morning.

Screenshots

I spent 3 hours creating the beautiful GUI.

Download

Mega