Super Fantastical #5: S.T.E.V.E.S

Welcome to the fifth installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate.


Planet Martha

STEVES: Hello Madam, I am S-T-E-V-E-S, but you can call me STEVES.

Princess: Hello STEVES, I have awaited your arrival. The Seer has told me that the universe is in danger.

STEVES: That is correct, Madam.

Princess: What is it this time? An ancient plague? A fleet of Dracvinian battleships?

STEVES: Far worse, Madam. The Intergalactic Federation has enacted the Female Equality ruling, using the power of The Council to override the power of The People.

Princess: Holy Jeberdee!

STEVES: Indeed Madam.

Princess: STEVES, what will we do?

STEVES: Error, anomaly in my memory system found. I believe I am getting hacked.

Princess: Oh no! Quick, turn off your wi-fi or something!

*STEVES’ eye turns from blue to red*

Bad STEVES: Die

*Bad STEVES fires a laser—Which is abruptly cut off for dramatic effect*

Planet Homo(sapien)

(note, first ‘Homo’ shows up, then ‘sapien’ slowly fades in next to it)

*Show the Earth from far away and play dramatic music*

*Slowly zoom in*

*Slowly*

*Slower*

*Jumpscare everyone with the sound of loud engine and make a ship suddenly drift into view*

Horgus: I’m approaching Planet 35. I will be handing off the important information to the Contact.

???: Sure thing, Horgus. Remember, that important information is really important. Don’t lose it.

Horgus: Got it.

*Horgus lands the ship in the middle of a desert*

Horgus: What language do these people speak, again?

???: This species is still quite primitive and there is no shared language among them. You are in the area known as ‘Mexico’, so I will set your vocal translabobulator to Mexican.

Horgus: Thanks.

???: Haha.

Horgus: What?

???: I’m sorry, it’s just that Mexican is quite a funny language. I have no idea what the Dracvinians were thinking when they created their language based on sound vibrations from slapping their genitals between their thighs even though they had perfectly normal vocal cords.

Horgus: Should I prepare my penis to speak with these people?

???: I’ve equipped your suit with some Dracvinian lube, you should speak Mexican with perfect fluency.

3 Hours of Trekking Through The Desert Later…

*Horgus walks into a diner with his penis limp and ready to speak Mexican*

Horgus: clap clap clop clap clop clap (Hello, I am quite thirsty, does anyone have any water?)

*Everyone stares awkwardly at Horgus*

Horgus (whispering): Hey, wasn’t the keyword water?

???: Yes, I thought it was.

Contact: clup clup clep clop clap (Oh yes, I have some water.)

*Horgus walks in the direction of the noise and notices the mysterious cloaked figure that was sitting in the corner of the room the entire time*

Horgus: clep clop clurp (Hello, stranger)

Contact: clep clep clep (Sit down, sit down)

Horgus: clop clop clep (I have the important information)

Contact: You can stop doing that now.

Horgus: Oh okay.

Contact: You can call me Mac, I assume you have the information?

Horgus: Yes, all of the information is in this pendant.

*Horgus holds up a USB drive*

Mac the Contact: Ah, Princess was smart to use primitive technology. There is no chance of being tracked with this.

Horgus: Wait.

Mac the Contact: What?

Horgus: Did you hear that?

Mac the Contact: Hear what?

*There’s a loud bang, a squad of troops storms into the diner*

Troop 1: clep clop clop clop (Where is Mac Guffin)

Mac the Contact: Shit.

*Horgus pulls out his gun, but it gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls out another gun, but it too gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls a knife out from his coat, but it (surprise) is shot out of his hand*

*Horgus is finally captured*

Troop 1: Boss, we have Mac.

*Horgus winks at Mac as he is dragged away*

Eroc’s Battleship

Eroc: Hello, Mac.

Horgus: Hi.

Eroc: Hey can you pull your pants up we aren’t in Mexico anymore.

Horgus: Oh okay.

*Horgus pulls his pants back up*

Eroc: Anyways, do you know what a pain you have been, Mac?

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Your days of troubling me are no more. Give me the important information and I will make your death painless.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Mac, tell me, where is the important information.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Fuckin’ Mac, never answering me.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Mac’s Ship

*Mac jumps into his ship and immediately starts pressing a lot of important buttons*

Mac: Computer, navigate to the location on this USB drive.

Computer: Aight bro.

Mac: Love you bro.

Computer: Nice ass bro.

Mac: Broooo.

Computer: Brooooooooooo.

Planet Martha (But It’s Red And Shit)

*Camera slowly zooms in on Planet Martha. It is now red and evil looking.*

Mac: This is the place?

Computer: Yeah. That’s weird, there are no defense systems.

Mac: Where’s the Asset?

Computer: Aha! I found a heat signal on the middle of that ominous storm.

Mac: Nice job bro!

Computer: Thanks bro.

Mac: No problem bro.

*Mac lands the ship and gets off*

Computer: Mac, I detect an incomin—

*A big laser hits Mac’s ship and it explodes dramatically, sending Mac flying backwards*

*Eroc’s ship flies past*

Mac: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOO!!!

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Princess: I heard something.

STEVES: i-I h-He-Ard n-Nothing, m-Maam.

*Turns around, reveals massive scar over right eye*

STEVES: m-Maam, I d-Detect s-Some h-Heat si-g-Gnatures n-Nearby.

Princess: Wonderful, let them in. I’ve been waiting a few days for this moment.

*Mac walks in*

Mac: Whoa! Was that a teleportation beam?

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Holy shit your eye!

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Do you have the Asset?

Princess: Yes.

STEVES: i-I a-Am t-The a-Ass-Et. i c-Contain i-Infor-Mation o-N t-The c-Council’s p-Plans.

Mac: Cool!

Princess: My duty is over.

*Princess pulls out a vaporizer and shoots herself, she is instantly vaporized*

Mac: WHAT THE FUCK.

STEVES: t-Take m-Me t-To t-The p-People’s h-Headquaters. T-They’ll k-Know w-What t-t-to d-Do.

Mac: Bro she just killed herself!

STEVES: t-That h-Hoe d-Deserv-Ved i-It.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: So. Like. Why is The Council doing this?

Eroc: The Female Equality plan will eradicate all males from the universe, preventing all future wars, rapes, wage inequality, disease, death, and old age.

Horgus: What the fuck.

Eroc: I don’t know man these people are wack. They’re bribed all our officials and I’m just carrying out my job here.

Horgus: Why don’t you help us rebel?

Eroc: They have my family.

Horgus: Where are they?

Eroc: Th-they have my family!

Horgus: You look a little pale man.

Eroc: Haaa, haaaaa~

Horgus: Are you okay?

Eroc: I-I don’t know.

Horgus: Wait, aren’t you an Orgers?

Eroc: Yeah…

Horgus: You reproduce asexually and live solitary lives, don’t you?

*Eroc faints*

*Horgus walks over to Eroc’s body*

Horgus: I knew it, brainwashing.

*Horgus pulls Eroc’s three eyelids open and plucks out a thin wire*

*A massive electronic tentacle slithers out, attached to the wire, Horgus stomps on it*

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Thank you for fixing my vocal transcodponderer.

Mac: No problem, bro. It definitely isn’t because it’s really annoying to t-Ty-pe l-Like t-This.

STEVES: Understandable.

Mac: So how do we get off this planet?

STEVES: Your ship?

Mac: It got blown up by Eroc’s ship.

STEVES: Is Eroc’s ship still here?

Mac: I think so.

STEVES: Is Eroc your friend?

Mac: What. no! He’s a bad guy!

STEVES: Hacking Eroc’s Ship…

Mac: Can you hack faster.

STEVES: Sure.

*Montage of STEVES beeping and booping, dramatically, with dramatic music in the background to show how dramatic it is*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: Why is the ship descending.

Eroc: I have no clue.

Horgus: I think we’re getting hacked.

Eroc: How can you tell.

Horgus: Well, the computer is glitching out and shit.

Eroc: But aren’t you supposed to be sneaky when you hack something. Opening a bunch of tabs remotely is really useless.

Horgus: What do we do?

Eroc: Get me another keyboard. I’m going to out-hack this hacker.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Shiiiiit, they have another keyboard. This guy is typing commands back faster than I am!

Mac: What can we do?

STEVES: Do you have sunglasses?

Mac: Yeah.

STEVES: Put them on me, I don’t have any arms so just put them on right there.

Mac: Where.

STEVES: There.

Mac: Bro you’re just sitting there.

STEVES: PUT THE FUCKING GLASSES OVER MY FUCKING EYES.

Mac: Okay okay.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Eroc: Oh my god he’s hacking back!

Horgus: I’m on it.

*Horgus brings in two extra monitors*

Eroc: Alright, now we’re talking.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: Alright, I’m going to start mumbling a bunch of advanced terms.

STEVES: Do it.

Mac: CPU, GPU, PNG, GIF, JIF, GJIF, JGIF—

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

*Smoke begins pouring out of the control panel*

Horgus: Shit shit shit!

Eroc: They got to the mainframe before I could activate the subjugate firewall using the CPU to overclock the GPUs cache. We’ve lost all control.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: We did it!

STEVES: I’m… sorry… human…

*Smoke pours out of STEVES shell and all of his lights flicker out*

*A small tray pops out holding a crystal*

*Mac picks up the crystal, and he is suddenly engulfed in bright white light*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: We’re being boarded!

Eroc: It was nice while it lasted man. Thanks for unbrainwashing me.

Horgus: No problem man. I’ll see you on the other side.

*Mac walks out of the boarding pod*

Mac: What the—

Horgus: Mac!

Eroc: What?

Horgus: Oh yeah, he’s Mac and my name’s actually Horgus.

Eroc: This entire time I’ve been living a lie?

Mac: What’s happening? Isn’t he the bad guy?

Eroc: You’ll pay for this!

*Eroc jumps into an escape pod and is shot out into space*

Horgus: Wait, do you have the Asset?

Mac: Got it right here.

*Mac shows him the crystal*

Horgus: Nice job!

Mac: Now we need to take this back to headquarters.

Horgus: Well, we do have this Dracvinian battleship…

Mac: Hell yeah!

30 minutes later (Dracvinian battleships are very fast)

Horgus: This crystal contains The Council’s next tactical move. Mac, put it in the reader.

Mac: Got it.

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Oooohhhh. aaah.

Computer: Reading memory crystal…

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Ooohhhhhh. aahhhhh.

Computer: Oops, it was a trap.

*Computer shuts off*

Horgus: What?

Mac: Oh no! All of our important information was on that!

Member of Crowd: Didn’t you take a backup?

Mac: …No.

*screen fades to black*

*The following text slowly scrolls into view*

Always backup your data

~The End~

Project 11 – Chapter 1

Welcome to Refurbished Writing, a series where I revise and polish the old web stories that I originally worked on for this website (two years ago).

The following story was originally created for Enchoseon.wordpress.com from late 2016 to really early 2018 and it was re-discovered and polished over the span of a few days.

I tried to keep it as close to the original as possible while removing a lot of junk. (I kept the original cringe chapter names).

If you are one of the 1,129 people who read the series on my old WordPress, I congratulate you on sticking with me for so long.

About Project 11

Project 11 was a placeholder name for the main web serial I wrote on Enchoseon.wordpress.com. Unfortunately, I tore it down when I changed gears and began writing blog posts on Enchoseon.com instead.

It has a fond place in my heart, but its still very messy and lacking coherency.

This web serial was created back when I was playing Va-11 Hall-A, an awesome VN that you should go play right the fuck now.

I used a lot of characters and things from Ysbryd Games’ stuff (eg Read-Only Memories) because of how much I love them.

This story was NOT created as fanfiction and does NOT fit into the plot of Va-11 Hall-A or any of the worldbuilding. I built the entire world from scratch and threw in things I liked as a reminder of what got me started.

I still haven’t completed Va-11 Hall-A. I hope I get the free time to play it again soon. It’s been about two years since I stopped playing. I really want to play it again and actually reach a single goddamn ending. However, I haven’t found any time in the past two years for me to fully chill and enjoy playing it. I really shouldn’t hold this off for much longer, because I guess its only downhill from here ;C

This is chapter 1 of 4. I have yet to finish going through Chapter 2, so for now this is Chapter 1, and Chapter 1 only.


Chapter 1: Glimmering City

December 20, 2998

The slow patter of rain echoed through the city. Every drop glistened and sparkled in the night air before hitting the pavement. The fiercely bright city lights illuminated the sky in a plethora of bursting colors. A thick blanket of multi-colored clouds blocked the moon.

Sparkling with the rain, damp concrete became a meaningless grey blur. The wet ground created a phantasmic reflection of the sky.

Light fog enveloped the streets and bitter winds blew. It was silent. The thin haze played with distance and light—Twisting it, blocking it.

Footsteps echoed. The figure took a shuddering breath as he stepped out of an alley and onto an empty street.

He took an apprehensive step forward followed by a shaky gasp. Shuddering, he leaned against a wall. A billowing gray cloud of vapor left his hood. Shrouded in the dim streetlamp, he spun around slowly, gazing in awe of the vibrant colors far above his head.

He wasn’t sure of many things at that moment, but he knew one thing for certain: My hands are about to freeze off.

He smiled, and began down the street.

As he walked, the pitter-patter of the rain grew louder. Neon signs flickered and shook.

He increased his stride.

Raindrops collided with the ground, forming a low monotonous ring that vibrated the air with power. The vibrations reached deep into his chest.

The rain grew into a downpour, and the vibrations deafening. The man continued, faster and faster. His shoes clicked with the concrete with each step. His ragged breath became more erratic and clumsy.

His thin shoes were soaked. Their cloth changed to a darker shade in the rain. The rain sparkled with the sky and slid around the edges before splattering against the floor.

Thump. The noise reverberated through the street. The figure stopped and lost his footing, both of his feet skidding forwards a few inches.

He slowly spun around, searching for the source of the thump.

Thump thump. On the other side of the street was a small window. The sign above it read out in bright red, “Dana’s Eatery and Bar”. The sign had nearly gone out, it was dim and slowly flickered, buzzing louder than the rain.

A girl sat by the semi-circle window wearing a small blue bow. She waved at him.

Something about her struck the man as peculiar. She waved at him through the glass before pointing to her right—At the entrance. She beckoned eagerly and sat down, watching intently. Her hazel eyes sparkled with the rain.

She got up again. Thump thump thump.

“Alright, fine” he mumbled.

The man went over to the entrance. The rain pelted him with heavy stinging drops. The large metal door towered above him. Rust covered most of the door and the paint was peeling, or was it the metal?

He groped around in the darkness for a latch or lever, but couldn’t find one. Crouching down, he tried feeling around in the shadows near the bottom of the door.

He stood up, but tripped and slammed his face against the metal. The door budged and began sliding slowly to the right. It screeching and clanked, creating a cacophonous ring. A warm beam of light flowed out of the doorway and welcomed him.

Without thinking, he dashed in.

Better than the rain, he thought.

Once inside, he pulled down his hood and peeled off his jacket before hanging it around his arm.

He was in his twenties. Black-framed glasses were perched on his nose, they had tiny water droplets on them. He took them off and wiped them with the inner part of his jacket. He carefully surveyed the bar, but could only see dimly lit shapes and patterns.

He put his glasses back on.

There were a few people sitting at the front, but they were busy talking among one another and hadn’t noticed him enter. The door, without warning, slid shut with a loud clang, closing off much faster than it had opened. Startled, he stepped forward instinctively.

A jukebox in the corner of the room softly played, drowning out the muffled sound of rain.

To his far-right sat the girl who had been waving at him through the window. She was sitting at a table by the window. She waved at him frantically, mouthing something excitedly.

He walked over to her and pulled out the chair opposite from hers. The rain pounded against the glass silently. He picked his jacket off his arm and draped it around the back of his chair. The tension in his shoulders eased as he let out a long sigh. His hands were numb and ached, but he was glad to be out of the cold.

The girl looked at him for a few seconds with a blank stare.

A multitude of worries flashed through his mind at lightning speed. But, before he could finish, she began speaking.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lilly!”

The man stumbled over his thoughts before replying. “I’m Brand”.

She leaned across the table and gave him a small tablet.

Brand looked at the text and discovered he couldn’t read it. Shit.

Lilly shyly took the tablet back, “Um, so… you weren’t looking for this?”

He replied, unsure, “Yeah.”

She fell back into her chair for some time. “I’ll get you a drink to make up for this.”

He pushed his chair back and stood up. “No—I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.”

“It’s fine! It’s on me!”

A flash of lightning briefly filled the room with blinding white light.

A rumble of thunder followed in quick succession. The floor shook violently, throwing Brand off-balance. He stumbled over his chair in surprise and landed flat on his back. Black dots filled his vision. He blinked a few times.

Glass clinked and liquid sloshed. Brand glanced through the window and saw yellow sparks.

Holy shiit.

“Look’s like the storm is really picking up out there” stated one of the men sitting at the bar. He had been in the middle of a sip, his white t-shirt was stained dirty yellow.

A black sheet of metal slowly descended over the entrance door, whirring loudly.

“Attention all customers, we are currently going into lockdown due to the thunderstorm” Jill announced.

“They didn’t tell us there was going to be lightning!” complained one of the men sitting at the bar.

“Hey Jill, how long is the storm gonna last?” Lilly asked.

Jill wiped some spilled lemon zest into her hands, “I reckon it’ll be a few hours, the ones that creep up on you always are,” she threw the zest into a bin and wiped her hands on her apron, “You want anything?”

“Yup! Two Sugar Rushes please!”

Brand exhaled sharply, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He stood up and sat back down on his chair.

“Do you know a place I can stay for the night?” he asked.

“Yup!”

He waited for her to elaborate on this, but got nothing.

Lilly stood up and walked over to the bar and returned with two highball glasses.

“Try some, it’s good!” She handed him a glass.

Brand stared at the glass. It was filled with a pink slush.

Lilly watched him intently through her glass.

Feeling pressured, he took a small sip and discovered it tasted like strawberries. He couldn’t hide his interest and took another, realizing that it tasted like sugar. He took another, and another.

Feeling a small hint of relief, he took a final refreshing gulp and rested his head on his arm, staring at his reflection in the glass. Lilly followed suit, and they stared at the rain streaking down the glass.

Brand felt waves of drowsiness wash over him. The ethereal rain slowed with the music and the lights began to dim. His eyelids became heavier and heavier, until he finally closed his eyes.

Soon he was fast asleep with his face on the table. The rain outside slowly dissipated and the metal barricade began to roll up. The storm was over.


Lilly curled her hands into a small fist and lightly knocked on Brand’s unconscious head. When that didn’t work she clenched her fist and applied moderate force.

He sprung up. “What the—”

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

Holding back a grimace, Brand reached around his head, “Wait, where are my glasses?”

Lilly gave him his glasses. “From the way you were turning, you almost crushed them.”

He put them on, “Thanks.” He blinked a few times and looked through the glass pane, “Hey, the rain stopped!”

The clouds outside had thinned out and a tiny bit of sunlight streamed through. It was still early, but the city was coming to life as people churned through the streets.

Lilly burst out of her chair, “Oh, I know!”

“Huh?”

“Let’s go get something for breakfast!”

I don’t have any money.

Lilly grabbed his arm and dragged him out the front door, “Bye Jill!”

It wasn’t bright outside, but Brand still held up his hands to shield his eyes from the sun. Lilly weaved through the crowd as he stumbled after her, desperately trying to catch up.

Why am I following her? I should just run.

Lilly turned around and smiled, “Over here!”

She took a sharp right and began dashing down the street even faster than before.

Lilly quickly came to a stop in front of a door. “Here!”

The door was a plastic shell that mimicked wood and had dull green paint. A brass plate above it read, “Pastries & Confectionery Emporium.”

Lilly stepped behind Brand and propelled him into the bakery, “C’mon slowpoke.”


The spongy cake bounced around on Brand’s spoon as he tried to take a bite. It jumped off his spoon just before he could take a bite and dove onto his pants. He picked it up with his thumb and forefinger before popping it into his mouth.

Lilly lifted her fork and pointed at him, “That’s gonna leave a stain.”

Surely enough, there was a small brown stain on his black slacks. He grabbed a napkin and rubbed furiously.

Lilly giggled, “I told you to get the pancakes. But did you listen? Nooooooo.

“Yeah, but those cost more” Brand replied, still vigorously wiping.

Lilly took a big bite of her blueberry pancake, “What’s the point of treating you to breakfast if you’re not even gonna eat? Jeez, I’ll just do it for you.”

She raised her hand, a waitress came over. “Excuse me, I’d like a plate of chocolate waffles.”

The waitress nodded, took a questioning glance at Brand and looked at Lilly with raised eyebrows, received no response, shrugged, and walked away.

Super Fantastical #4: Removed

This was supposed to be the fourth installment to the Super Fantastical series, but it was making fun of climate change deniers.

The issue with my Super Fantastical series is that it doesn’t take itself seriously, and people don’t always click on headlines.

There was a lot of unwanted confusion and honestly, this Super Fantastical wasn’t even that good, it was sort of lame and I wasn’t that proud of it.

Anyways, here’s a replacement.

Super Fantastical #3: Super Fantastical Quest RPG


Welcome to Super Fantastical Quest, the most important RPG you’ll ever play in your lifetime!

You are probably wondering what makes Super Fantastical Quest so damn good, so let me tell you in a couple of bullet points

  • You can slay dragons and gods
  • You can use an intuitive xp-gold trading system
  • You can experience smooth framerates and neat pixel art
  • You can rescue princesses

Seriously, it’s the best game you’ll ever play.

You can play the game online by clicking the big link below.

this picture is the link to the game get it haha

Other Super Fantasticals

Super Fantastical #2: How To Be Authentic (wikiHow)

Welcome to the second installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate stories.

Something I would like to get out of the way is that these articles are not serious in any way and are only meant to be a way for me to vent out my extreme teenage sarcasm, which should disappear when I mature into a handsome likable adult version of me.

I spent some time trying to format this page to look more like a wikiHow page but it didn’t turn out very good.


How To Be Authentic


Related imageCo-authored by Fiddly McDinkles, ABC
Updated: 1.25336437357743574 seconds ago

 


Authenticity is a sought-after trait in a person that is commonly used to describe dreamy friendships that do not exist. Unreliability is usually described as acting differently for each occasion. Therefore an authentic person will act the same way in a courtroom, in a restaurant, funeral, birthday party, marriage, etc. Experts in philosophy or English teachers usually describe authenticity as the constant expression of consistent core values. Unfortunately, these explanations usually only reach the ears of annoying high schoolers that have no clue what their core values are.

Part 1: Starting Up

 

1

Accept yourself. Be ready to endure the highest level of excruciating pain when you realize that you are a husk with no personality or meaningful goals. Realize that you are not a unique individual and will be seen by your superiors as expendable.

  • This also means accepting your unique flaws. After realizing your flaws, be sure to only call them ‘quirks’ in public.

2

Do not delude yourself. You will no doubt have many doubts after realizing your worthlessness in this horrible, impossibly cruel, and shitty world. This will result in your self-esteem becoming more realistic, which will probably lower than you thought it would be.

  • If you feel like your self-esteem is low, be sure that it is realistic, because it might actually need to be lower.
  • If you feel like your self-esteem is fine, be sure that you aren’t just being apathetic. If you legitimately feel that your self-esteem is high, be sure to shut the fuck up about the topic when with others because you are too privileged to do so.

3

Pretend to have personal beliefs and values. You will need to convince people that you have a moral compass that cleanly guides you through your life.

  • Avoid contradicting your imaginary personal beliefs to increase the authenticity people feel around you.
  • Be a weirdo and break conformity in order to make it clear that you are a person that follows their beliefs.
  • Pretend to be fulfilled and happy, this will make people think that you are happy because you are authentic.
  • Get into hobbies or volunteer work to make it seem like you are doing fulfilling work. (Of course, you don’t actually have to do them, you just need to tell people you do them.)
Part 2: Reaping the Benefits

1

Force people to have your beliefs. Command a legion of followers that will do what you say because they believe it will make them fulfilled. Tell them to do things you want them to do and tell them your intuition is telling you.

  • Do not give your followers a chance to break free, destroy all of their external relationships, hobbies, family bonds, etc.
  • Lead them in by lightly suggesting things like, “don’t drink alcohol.” Then sprinkle in your own commands after gaining more trust.

2

Enjoy. You now have a supply of trusting followers, which means that you have influence, trust, money, and all of the things ‘good’ leaders are supposed to have.

  • You are now free to destroy other people’s lives and benefit with the overflow of desperate, ruined people at your doorstep.
  • You will be able to drop the act and sadistically watch your legion of minions fall down to your level and become sobbing worthless trash.
  • Your work complete, you can sit back and relax knowing that you’ve been able to stop some of the evil on this planet, even if by only a little.

Super Fantastical #1: Jane Austenian Romance

Welcome to the first installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate stories.


Chapter The Beginning

Mrs. Blennet smiled, “darling, Mrs. ____ was just telling me the other day how That One Place just received a new tenant.”

Mr. Blennet leaned back in his chair fancifully, “and why would I care?”

“Darling, I think it’d be best to go meet him next week at the ball!”

“Dear, I am going to make myself very clear here, I am not actually going to sound interested in this so that you continue your amusing rambling and then I will continue to mess with you until you are absolutely convinced and it will be then that I do a complete reverse because I am a very sarcastic and amusing character.”

It is at this point that a faceless narrator summarizes what has happened or what will happen. In this case, it is the latter. Unbeknownst to senile old lady, Mr. Blennet had intended to visit the new tenant the whole time.

Chapter The Middle Part

Lydia looked out the window wistfully, “oh I do hope that my dear Lickham returns soon.”

Mrs. Blennet ran into the room, trying not to trip on her skirt like an idiot. “I just saw Mr. Lickham’s carriage coming this way! Everyone, quick, put on your best dresses and hats!”

Mr. Blennet folded his newspaper and put on his glasses fancifully, uncrossing his legs and taking a fanciful sip of tea from the fanciful china Mrs. Blennet had put away somewhere and forgotten about fancifully.

Mr. Blennet stood up and grabbed his fanciful cane and proceeded to greet the new visitors.

Elizabeth overheard  Mr. Blennet greeting the visitors, “I trust you gentlemen had a fanciful journey.”

Elizabeth drew back in shock, “gentlemen? Does that mean, no, it couldn’t!”

Mr. Barcy walked into the house, ducking under the doorway just in time to pull his fancifully tall tophat through.

Mrs. Blennet ducked around the corner and whispered to the girls, “girls, go seduce both of those men. Statistically speaking, at least one of us is bound to score.”

As the girls paraded into the parlor while trying to look as nonchalant as possible, Mrs. Blennet ran around the house rearranging chairs and other furniture into fanciful formations sure to please the visitors.

Chapter A Continuation Of The Last Part

Mr. Lickham greeted Lydia fancifully with a soft romantic kiss that started out awkwardly but ended in an intimate manner with some gasping in between.

Mr. Barcy stood in the corner of the room with a judgemental look in his eyes. Noone dared bother him except Elizabeth.

“Mr. Barcy, you are an asshole” Elizabeth told him.

Mr. Barcy remained composed, “I am not.”

Elizabeth continued, “Mr. Lickham told me.”

Mr. Barcy’s face contorted into a raisin and he dramatically lowered his voice, “be careful around Lickham.” He walked away from Elizabeth and into another corner of the room, brooding mysteriously.

Chapter Whatever

Elizabeth stared in wonder at That One Place. A bunch of adjectives really described it in a wonderfully symbolic way and Elizabeth grimaced at the memory of her turning down Mr. Barcy.

“Wait, does this make me look like a money-hunting whore?” she thought to herself as she entered the fanciful building.

Before she had a chance to mentally escape her self doubts, Mr. Barcy fancifully came down a flight of stairs. Their eyes met, and they both blushed.

Mr. Barcy mustered up his most intimate voice, “greetings, Elizabeth, would you like to have a tour of my estate? My chambermaids can make some pretty good Gyurma sausages.”

He muttered under his breath, “fuck I’m not very good at flirting at all.”

“Mr. Barcy, you are aware that I can still hear your muttering since you’re still close to me, right?” Elizabeth asked.

“Shit, well. Bye then.”

“Bye.”

Mr. Barcy walked back up the fanciful stairs at a fanciful pace, looking back only once because the stairs were in a spiral formation that forced him to look back while he was looking forward because circles are like that.

Chapter The Ending Part

Lady Catherine DeBitch coughed fancifully into Mrs. Blennet’s china set.

“I am here to discuss private matters with Elizabeth” she wheezed.

Everyone except Elizabeth filed out of the room.

“Do not marry my son” DeBitch instructed.

“No.”

“No u.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Fuck.”

DeBitch stood up and left, “I’ll be back.”

Chapter The Ending Part For Real

they got married the end okay

Monopoly-Bot, a Tool for Modding Monopoly

Monopoly is one of my favorite board games.

So, after a 3 hour “coding session” that I wasn’t planning on doing, I ended up with Monopoly-Bot, a super-basic tool for modding Monopoly games that has plenty of potential to be expanded and modified.

Setup

1. Download the game zip file and extract it.

2. Get a TV or some other display next to your Monopoly board and run launcher.bat.

3. Follow the directions that pop up.

All documentation is stashed in comments in-between the code, which should be readable if you know basic batch.

Development

It came out of my ass one morning.

Screenshots

I spent 3 hours creating the beautiful GUI.

Download

Mega