How To Socially Survive High School (for Introverts)

In the Classroom

As a person reluctant to talk, most of your talking will be done for mandatory school things.

As such, there isn’t really anything to do except to accept your fate and grit your teeth like you’re trying really hard to poop but there’s a big stone in your butt.

Presentations

When presenting, being confident doesn’t equate to a lack of stage fright.

The anxiety is natural, and endless rationalizing will only get you so far, even if the stage fright is extremely trivial.

Personally, I get wobbly knees and feel like a floppy paper in the breeze, but just that’s me. You might have it better or worse.

There are no secret tips. Being clear and concise is a rubric criterion, not a 100% achievable goal. Just do what you can and get out.

Questions

When you are asked a question, the best thing to do is to not answer. Ever. This will make you seem dull, wannabe-emo, or ignorant. All of which are good character traits that drive away people.

This tactic doesn’t always work, so sometimes you actually want to answer the question to avoid being a complete social failure that gets ostracized for being weird.

Laughing and hoping that the question wasn’t a question usually works.

Lunch

Sitting by yourself requires a place to sit and a real desire to sit alone. It can’t be for some fad or to act edgy. If your reasons are legitimate, then, by all means, continue.

The best way to claim an area to sit is to sit at the same spot for months until you become the all-powerful owner. However, breaking your streak once will shatter your dominance immediately, making you place-to-sit-less.

Backup benches for your solitary lunches are required. On the off-chance that an annoying couple decides to invade and start flirting or making out in your lonely area, you can retreat to your backup bench.

Be prepared, or you’ll end up sitting next to people while you eat lunch, which sucks.

In the Great Beyond

Parties

As an avid member of the ‘get-invited-to-a-birthday-party-and-realize-you-can’t-find-anything-to-do-with-your-friends-from-school-because-you’ve-only-interacted-with-them-during-school-when-you-could-talk-about-things-somewhat-related-to-school’ club, I’ve gotten pretty good at building the hype and providing immense disappointment.

Just don’t show up to the parties and you’ve eliminated all of the problems.

‘Real’ Parties

This is where the drama gets violent. This is still child’s play compared to all of the sadistic gossips that your foul-mouthed—I mean peers, spread.

Introverts are too terrified to attend ‘real’ parties. ‘Real’ parties only elicit misanthropic feelings and a burning desire to die.

An ‘real’ party is made of 3 parts questionableness, 2 parts underage drinking, 3 parts that-one-group-of-people-laughing-really-loudly, and 2 parts someone shitting on the floor.

Hint: People who sucked at 5th grade birthday parties are more likely to be the people shitting on the floor.

At the Groceries

Cashiers

Cashiers are wack. If you forget ten cents they’ll chase you through the fucking store.

If a cashier starts chasing you, it’s best to accept your change like the cheapskate human trash you are before awkwardly thanking them and leaving as quickly as possible.

Employees

If an employee begins giving you the death stare, hold your ground, loosen your knees, and pretend to return to a defensive fighting stance as if it is your usual stance.

Extroverts

When Targeted

Run.

When Confronted

Run.

When ‘Befriended’

Run.

When You Return Home With No Energy Left After Being Drained By An Extrovert

Realize that this was your fate1 from the moment the extrovert began targeting you. Despite your experience being completely linear, the moment you and the extrovert first met, no matter how small it was, predetermined your fate and doomed you.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to shake them off your back over summer. Also, keep in mind if the extrovert is a person that you feel that you could possibly develop feelings of friendship for, constantly remind yourself that you are 100% definitely one of their 1,450 side-hoes they call their ‘friends’.

Reading This Blog

When You Are Reading

dont

Debunking Some Satire To Destroy The World

There is quite a lot of information readily available on the internet about dominating the earth. (Which is a lie because it’s all just Sam Hughes being quoted in various articles.)

I released a satirical post on destroying cities not too long ago which turned out to be too serious-sounding and was a massive failure, but also actually a success because people liked it.

The ideas I went through were jokes, such as setting off an unreasonable amount of explosives near a bunch of magma to create an artificial lahar in an area well-accustomed to lahars. Not only would there be national coverage of the massive explosion in the middle of nowhere that caused nothing, but even if a lahar started (if we were skilled geologists and explosives experts), the designated area also had an early warning system and also existed within the realms of reality, laws, order, etc., which are those things that stop Tom and Jerry stuff from being reenacted in real life. .

I also suggested sprinkling radioactive dust around to kill a bunch of people, but my method was not only a logistics problem of discreetly surprise attacking tons of people at once but also the problem of obtaining buttloads of radioactive material. I also seriously doubt that many people would inhale a flour cloud if it fell on them.

If you’re a government hell-bent on holding half a hemisphere hostage then you don’t need the dodgy Acme-verified solutions, you just need to make the damn cobalt bomb and start making threats. The flour bomb was originally supposed to be a mini-cobalt bomb but had to be cut down to fit the expenses and salary of a middle-class worker.

And, to seal up the article in the stupidest this-is-a-giveaway-that-this-is-satire way possible, I suggested basically making a big cylinder in the floor and using it as a musket to fire junk into space to trap humanity. Unfortunately, the Earth is rather big so that doesn’t actually work. Just keep buying your palm oil products and we’ll get there eventually, except the litter will be on the ground level.

However, some people were convinced I had scammed them of their world domination rights, and rightfully so! I had committed the highest form of treason: Making a misleading/confusing header.

So I’m back, and after going out of my way to tell you that yes, that previous post on destroying the world was a joke, I will redeem myself and tell you a legitimate method of dominating the world.

How To (Really) Dominate the World

World Domination: Destroy or own a good portion of the earth. There are no specifics and anything goes, let’s get started.

We’ll be assuming a couple of things here.

Assumption 1: I want to not die in the process.
Assumption 2: I want to not be arrested.
Assumption 3: I want to become the most powerful existence on the planet.

The best way to own the world is to have it in the palm of your hand, therefore I really only need a couple of things.

  1. A survival backpack filled with food, water, tools, game consoles, tons of sunscreen, solar panels, etc.
  2. Experience breathing in places with thin air.
  3. A Katamari.

As a Katamari grows, a side effect is that its user will grow to match the size of the ball, meaning that as long as I bring plenty of rations, I don’t need that much stuff as long as I increase the size of the Katamari fast enough.

In the early stages, the Katamari will be fairly easy to build in secret.

After I reach a substantial size I will need to prepare for larger attacks from humanity, so I will need to strategically aim for large areas filled to the brim with stuff to increase my size before fighter jets, tanks, and missiles can stop me.

This will be important, as I will become bigger and bigger, reducing my mobility (think of how a fly sees us as super slow.) My best starting point would obviously be a junkyard near a big city so that I can start adding skyscrapers to my Katamari ASAP.

After a couple of skyscrapers, I will be big enough to be basically invincible. So the current plan is as such:

  1. Build the Katamari secretly in a junkyard near a neighborhood or something.
  2. Roll up the junkyard and the small buildings and then attack a city and become invincible from humanity.
  3. Set up my living quarters, settle down, and start making demands.

After this, I can stop growth and start making my demands to world leaders. At this point, life will be pretty boring and I will just stand there with my Katamari and watch humanity whizz by me like a Civ game on steroids until I eventually get nuked a couple of times and die or get bored and roll up the rest of the world and start anew.

Either way, once you’re the supreme lord that’s about it. If you want to play the pacifist you can bask in the sun’s radiation until you get skin cancer and die. Or you can choke and die. Or you can gain so much mass the planet and moon collapse on you and turn you into a planet.

Current Problems: World domination seems kind of boring and noone has a magical Katamari they want to lend me.

Blogging is an Infinite Game

Recently I’ve been having doubts about things and the usual such, common events that happen during the holidays. But it was only recently that I’ve been able to grasp how ungraspable things are.

So let’s go backward and grab a couple definitions straight out of Simon Sinek’s mouth:

Finite Games:
-Known players
-Fixed rules
-Agreed objective
-Winners and Losers

Infinite Games:
-Known and unknown players
-Changeable rules
-Goal is to extend game
-No Winners or Losers

Chess has tangible rules that do not change as you play. Chess games end once they end. And chess will have a winner and loser (usually, but let’s not get caught up in the nitty gritty).

Blogging has no tangible rules, and the ones that we do know always change. Backlink spamming used to be great for Google, but now it will only get you kicked off the face of the internet. The amount of people you compete with is humongous and impossible, and declaring yourself a ‘winner’ is stupid.

If you declare yourself to be the biggest and bestest blog, you are really just the biggest and bestest blog in the sample of blogs that you chose. Declaring yourself to be the ‘best’ at anything in an infinite game is stupid in general because there will always be ups and downs in an infinite game. You will never the best forever, either.

To simplify:

Infinite Games: Kaizen

Finite Games: Fucking win

Finite games fit inside infinite games, they are inevitable. 2

Winning finite games can help the infinite game. Fighting for gay rights, civil rights, etc. all help the infinite game for equality and happiness and all of the other intangible stuff we value.

Capitalism provides for a great infinite game. Businesses that are alive today will eventually go away or change or whatever, but businesses will always exist. If Google disappeared, shit would definitely go down in the beginning, but other companies would still exist. 2 Capitalism allows for many businesses to be the providers of something so that if one business drops out of the infinite game, another can provide for it.

However, Simon Sinek raised an important issue, which is when a finite player competes with an infinite one.

War in Vietnam:
-Vietnam: Fight to survive (infinite game)
-US: Fight to win (finite game)

Wars are not finite, and finite goals can have accidental infinite results. New players will emerge, and new policies will reshape and create rules.

Declaring an end to an infinite game will result in immense disconnection from the infinite game. The disconnected player will become uncertain, chaotic, and unable to decide on a goal.

When you are in an infinite contest, using your interests is a horrible plan.

When you are in an infinite contest, building for the infinite future is wonderful.

So let’s boil it down to our own private lives.

As humans, goals need to be something we can see. “Fastest growing”, “even more”, and “most respected” are not tangible, visible goals. They do not motivate us. “Excercise each morning”, “become 20 lbs lighter”, and “do my homework” are realistic goals that we can see.

The goals and actions of finite and infinite players are different, and it results in the opening of many Pandora’s boxes from other Pandora’s boxes inside and from and with other Pandora’s boxes.

Prepubescent Phases of Pain and Crying and Screaming and Torture

The high school years are apparently the best times of a human’s lifetime. You can do basically whatever you want and lock it behind you in a protective bubble of humiliation later.

However, the largest reason high school is supposedly awesome is that you can make friends. Ew. Social circle. Ew. Life. Ew.

I’m not a pessimistic ass all of the time, I’m just not a people-person, which just means I’m a pessimistic ass whenever people are nearby.

Not interacting often gives me the sort of joy that can only arise from observing the cringey and disturbing human pupae.

I still haven’t undergone the entire hell that is high school, but I’d like to compile my experiences into a post before I go so insane that I lose the ability to write.

Lyrical Claptrap3

I remembered that I had some cringey poems I wrote in 7th grade and I tried to find them so that I could share them here, but I couldn’t find them, so I found someone else’s poem instead.

Feelings don’t change,
they leave

– A smug Instagram schmuck

Lyrical claptrap only sounds good to the person writing it. It’s brought by random emotional feelies hitting people with poor coping mechanisms because their coping mechanism is to puke their shitty feelings onto their phones in the middle of the night so that they can share it the same way a first grader shows off their unsanitary macaroni art.

Harambe we love you

– Elon Musk’s Soundcloud

When I was into lyrical claptrap I was also a logophile. I spent my 7th-grade lunches reading my pocket dictionary during lunch and I didn’t actually write too much.

Pictures

Taking pictures of yourself is a stupid idea.

It’s like taking a picture of a chicken being chopped in half and then hanging up that picture at the dinner table.

Selfies are annoying to everyone trying to walk around you, and I also don’t understand the fucking deal with taking pictures of yourself through a mirror.

Social Obsession

Contrary to idiotic belief, people are not constantly studying you.

A large majority of people fit into some stereotype or other, with ‘quirky’ and ‘mod’ being primarily dominant.2

I live with a fake-it-till-you-make-it mindset. I don’t know sports, celebrities, movies, bands, rappers, or other important aspects of current pop culture.

However, it seems that everyone likes the same shit rap music and that all of the ‘I’m searching for individuality’ bullshit that is supposed to be happening in great big America is nonexistent.

We are all vastly the same when it comes to how we portray ourselves.

Social obsession takes the form of social media, clothing, and any other way a person lets the outside world know that they are a thing that exists.

But nobody really cares that you are a thing that exists. We’re too busy with our own lives to care about yours, so just take care of what matters when it matters.

Changing ‘Style’

Changing style is just fucking weird.

Perfectly normal introverts suddenly become ‘adventurous’ by wearing lipstick that looks like a Smurf came in their mouth.

Dyeing hair also makes no fucking sense. I’ve never looked at someone who dyed their hair and thought, ‘wow, that person was tolerable before, but now they’re just, cool.’

Suddenly changing style doesn’t fit everyone.

Terrifying Transformations I’ve Experienced:

  • Smart, likeable, handsome, and overall great role-model guy stops wearing glasses over Spring break. Freaks me out.
  • Normal person begins wearing vans and playing ukelele. Makes me feel sad.
  • Fuckboy forgets what a t-shirt is. Makes me cringe.
  • A different fuckboy doing a mirror selfie while holding their crotch area. I nearly cringe to death.

*Fuckboys in general are cringey.

I’m A _____

Being in California, I’m used to seeing Firewatch shit happen in the town over and people switching the gender they identify as four times a week.

None of that bothers me.

What does bother me is people calling themselves things they are 100% not.

Here’s a sample:

“When you clean your room/studio AND find your selfie stick 📸”

Congrats, you rich little shit, but just because you’re rich enough to store a bunch of cool shit in your room doesn’t make it a studio. Most of my room is actually empty space that I never let anyone know that I have. I just store all of the coolest shit that I’ve accumulated over the years at my desk so that I feel semi-rich at the expense of having a room where everything is placed in one corner.

Here’s another sample:

Since 2004
Artist, Animator, Voice actor, Writer…

The ellipses were not added by me. Apparently, this person is even more interesting and quirky and fun than what the list implies.

Personally, I identify as a blogger, but sometimes I feel quirky so I call myself a ‘writer’. And if I’m having a big mood I’ll say that I operate a content website.

Does Microsoft Rewards Work? – Tested Mathematically (2019)

The Microsoft Rewards program is a reboot of Bing Rewards. You can trade in points for rewards. That’s about it. If you’re reading, you’re probably from here from a Google search so you probably are already familiar with Microsoft Rewards.

Pre-ramble

I’ve been earning points passively through just my Bing searches.

Unfortunately, there is no longer a way to get Amazon gift cards (that was a Bing Rewards thing), so I set off on a journey to find the ‘true’ value of the points so that I could make the most of my points without the option to cash in for sweet Amazon money.

Note: I’ll be going through all of the stuff in the ‘Shop’ category and ignoring the sweepstakes and donation options. The new GUI and option to sort by category and price is great, too.

All prices are calculated with a Level 2 account, which is really easy to get if you just use Bing as your search engine. (I usually use Google, but I still reach Level 2 regardless).

The ‘True’ Value of Points

$5 gift cards cost 6,500 points on average, meaning that each point is worth $0.000769230769.

$25 gift cards cost 23,000 points on average, meaning that each point is worth $0.00108695652.

$50 gift cards cost 46,000 points on average, meaning that each point is worth $0.00108695652.

It’s clear that averages don’t really work out, so now we’re going to target the two types of gift cards: Microsoft and non-Microsoft gift cards (Target, Walmart, Chipotle, etc).

Non-Microsoft Gift Cards

Gift CardPointsWorth of Point
$56,500~$0.000769230769
$1013,000~$0.000769230769

Points for Microsoft gift cards are worth more in bigger purchases, and smaller trade-ins are worth much less.

Unfortunately, all of the non-Microsoft stores are capped at $5, meaning that if you want to make the most of your money you will need to buy a Microsoft gift card.

Non-Microsoft cards have a lower point worth and cannot be redeemed for anything higher than $5 (with some exceptions).

More on Point Worth

Point Worth of Microsoft Gift Cards:

$5-10: $0.00107526882

$25-50: $0.00108695652

$100: $0.0010989011

Point Worth of Non-Microsoft Gift Cards:

About ~$0.00107526882

Point Worth of NFL Gift Card:

$10: $0.000769230769

The Overall Results3

The Worst Deal Ever: NFL $10 gift card

The Best Deal Ever Microsoft $100 gift card

A $5 non-Microsoft gift card has the same point worth as a $5 or $10 Microsoft gift card.

The $5 Microsoft gift card costs 50 more points than a non-Microsoft gift card, and the $10 Microsoft gift card costs 2,800 more points while having the same point worth.

Also worth noting, Microsoft gift cards are now instantly sent to your account balance and therefore are not possible to trade in card pools or whatever.

Calculating Losses

Note that some people have had trouble buying multiple of the same prize in the past, not totally sure if that’s a problem now (you can enroll as many times as you want in sweepstakes, though).

$25 Comparison

Non-Microsoft Gift Card: 32,500 pts = $25

Microsoft Gift Card: 23,000 pts = $25

The Loss for Not Picking Microsoft: 9,500 pts

$50 Comparison

Non-Microsoft Gift Card: 6,500 pts * 10 = $50

Microsoft Gift Card: 46,000 pts = $50

The Loss for Not Picking Microsoft: 19,000 pts

yeah you get the point

The Omega-Final Verdict:

It’s a no-brainer that Microsoft really wants you to buy their gift cards rather than a Target one.

You’ll be missing out on stuff like Nintendo Switch games, books, and household commodities to make the most of your points.

So.

Yeah.

That’s all I guess.

Okay bye.

Evil Not-so-Genius Ideas

Destroying humanity is a dream scenario for evil geniuses, but the world is pretty destructive already and a single individual or group of dedicated people would have to work extremely hard.

Unstoppability: How hard it is for external forces to stop the destruction. Speed and other factors (like the need to have a big machine constantly running) are evaluated. Extra style points if the method can be used to hold the world hostage.

Cities are great targets for mass destruction because they have lots of people, property, and are a mess to clean up. Highways, buildings, and the lives of people can total up to cost billions of dollars in repair. However, our noobish planning will probably only do a couple of million dollars of damage, tops.

Plan A: Artificial Lahars With Mount Rainier

Mount Rainier National Park

Mount Rainier is in Washington and is one of the highest-risk volcanoes we have. It spans 368.15 square miles and the peak is at 14,410 ft.

Even if there is not an eruption, there is a risk for lahars2, which are violent streams of volcanic mudflow and debris. Picture wet concrete cascading down a valley towards a city and you’re basically there.

Mount Rainier is one of the highest risk volcanoes in the world, and the USGS (United States Geological Survey) made this great graphic that was probably not intended for evil scheming.

Mount Rainier, Washington simplified hazards map showing potential impact area for ground-based hazards during a volcanic event.

Then, looking at Google Earth, we can see that the nearest cities are Tacoma and Lakewood.

The method of transport will be the Puyallup River, which was also formed by lahars some 5,600 years ago. The valley has about 150,000 people in danger of lahars already.

The problem is that most of the lahars from Mount Rainier are not actually caused by eruptions but by water and ice interacting with magma, causing rapid movement of water, which swells into a lahar.

In order to create a lahar, we need to attack this area:

Mining away tons of rock and dirt isn’t really that cool or evil so explosive charges set along both parts of the fork could release enough lava. An ANFO weighing 2,000 pounds could be made for about $1,500 (estimated from the Lowe’s catalog).

Since my free speech is being detained by law, I cannot go into depth on bombs, but there are plenty of guides on creating and detonating explosives. Though, the most destructive of all is the DCAM explosive.

Plan B: Tiny Cobalt Bombs

“We have the feeling that when this time comes to science, God with His white beard will come down to earth swinging a bunch of keys, and will say to humanity, the way they say at 5 o’clock at the saloon: ‘Closing time, gentlemen!'” – The Journal of the Goncourt Brothers; April 7, 1869.

Cobalt-60 is a particularly nasty element synthesized by humans. It emits gamma rays and is the byproduct of nuclear reactors. It also has a half-life of 5.27 years, making it an extremely hard substance to get rid of.

A ‘traditional’ cobalt bomb is a nuclear weapon packed with cobalt-59 (which is a single neutron away from its deadly cousin). Once the nuclear weapon explodes, the neutrons from the nuclear reaction turn the cobalt-59 into cobalt-60, spewing out a cloud of radioactive death into the atmosphere.

Unfortunately, cobalt doesn’t really explode and we don’t have access to nukes so we need the cobalt-60 to be in the bomb before exploding it. In addition, spreading out explosives in a dense, urban city is extremely hard to do.

At this point, we hit the largest bump. A massive bomb is unfeasible and planting explosives aren’t easy, either. Assuming a very cheap price, each bomb costs $100 for solid cobalt-60 and another $200 for the actual bomb.

Deployment would be possible with cars, suitcases, etc.; all of the usual terrorist stuff.

If the radiation in the city gets to 8 sV, a person walking outside could get cancer or permanent damage to their lungs in less than an hour.

After talking with some smart college students, a cheaper plan was created:

Image result for bag of flour

Flour bombs.

If the Cobalt-60 can be safely ground into fine dust and mixed into ziplock bags filled with a powdery substance like flour (of course, flour isn’t exactly the best powdery substance because it turns to mush in water), it can be dropped off buildings onto busy streets. Drones carrying the packages could be parked on various buildings to simultaneously drop all of the bombs after all of the bombs are planted.

Plan C: Space Littering

Space litter is a large problem. Space litter is composed of defunct satellites, rocket pieces, and the other random human junk we throw up there.

Scientists are scared that space junk will halt space exploration efforts by coating Earth in an impenetrable shield of junk orbiting faster than a bullet.

Robots have been proposed to collect space junk, but if we hit the point of no return before then it’ll be impossible to send anything out of Earth for possibly the next century.

Things That Will Cease To Exist If We Are Trapped By Junk:

  • Anything reliant on satellites, like GPS, Earth monitoring devices, etc.

In order to trap humanity on Earth and stagnate all space endeavors, we need to shoot stuff out of Earth at about 10 km/s.

But that isn’t the whole story, we also need to deal with air resistance, turbulent winds, and to avoid detection by authorities.

But first, we need a launcher.

Railguns Won’t Work

Railguns are electromagnetic weapons that accelerate shit at immense speeds.

A railgun is made of three parts:

  • The power supply
  • The two rails
  • The armature

A railgun is basically a large circuit. Electricity from the power supply runs up the positive rail and travels back down the negative rail, creating a magnetic field where the electricity is.

The magnetic force travels around the rails in a counterclockwise circle around the positive rail and a clockwise circle around the negative rail.

The force exerted on the projectile is called Lorentz force, which can be given by F = qE + qv × B2.

The armature is the thing that connects the circuit by bridging the two rails. The armature can be a conductive coating on the projectile or plasma.

In order to calculate the force for a railgun, you can use F = (i)(l)(b)3.

A railgun also must be able to support the massive amount of electricity required without melting the rails, having the rails split apart from the electromagnetic force. Most railguns can only fire once or twice before breaking down. The armature must also be capable of moving extremely fast without breaking under the force.

The Expensive Shopping List:

  • A bunch of capacitors that won’t explode
  • A pair of large superconductor rails
  • A bunch of support for the rails so that they don’t fly off.
  • A metal armature
  • A way to draw megajoules of electricity from the power grid
  • Some trash to shoot into LEO

After constructing your super-expensive railgun with a group of talented scientists and engineers, you’ll need to fire the junk so that it ends up flying parallel to Earth’s surface instead of crashing back down. This means that there’ll also be a massive projectile traveling across the horizon if the railgun doesn’t melt, explode, or break in some way or other.

Not only do you need megajoules of energy, but you’ll also need to outdo the Naval Surface Warfare Center by at least threefold.

Thus, a railgun is not the best way to go. (And no, coilguns aren’t even on the table anymore).

A Low-Tech Solution

Since railguns are dicks, we’ll need to find a better way to reach LEO.

Luckily, we have this awesome new revised plan:

All we need to do is construct a gigantic pipe in the ground, fill it with gas, pack it with tons of junk, and light it up, creating a large crater and sending tons of shit into space in a firey ball.

Depending on the lack of skill, a gigantic spray gun may accidentally arise instead, splattering molten metal shrapnel over a large area rather than making a bunch of trash reach LEO.


Dear Noobs: If you didn’t realize, this post was satirical

Resources
https://www.futurity.org/lava-water-volcanoes-explosions-1928772/
https://volcanoes.usgs.gov/volcanoes/mount_rainier/hazard_summary.html
https://science.howstuffworks.com/rail-gun1.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobalt-60

How Vaccinations Work, and Why You Should Be Vaccinated

This post was in the works for over a year. And by that, I mean that it was a skeleton draft that I forgot about in my Google Docs for over a year.

However, recent news about that 18-year-old guy who vaccinated himself has re-sparked genuine public interest in vaccines and unvaccinated children, which I personally thought was just a random minority and not an actual thing.

Vaccines in Brief

There are 5 main types of vaccines being used in the US:

  • Live vaccines contain weakened viruses/bacteria. They are given to people with healthy immune systems.
  • Inactivated vaccines have killed viruses/bacteria. Multiple doses required to build/maintain immunity.
  • Toxoid vaccines are made of weakened toxins created by bacteria.
  • Subunit vaccines have parts of the virus/bacteria rather than the entire thing. Side effects are also less likely.
  • Conjugate vaccines combat bacteria with coatings that hide them from the immune system (especially in young immune systems). The vaccine connects to the coating and creates an immune response.

There is some controversy around whether live or inactivated vaccines are better. On one end, live vaccines build the immune system naturally, but natural infections can be deadly.

The side-effects of vaccines are usually mild. The false belief that vaccines cause autism is the result of bad media coverage and idiot celebrities (or the president) preaching about it.

Some Example Vaccines:

DPT/DTaP Vaccine: Protects from diphtheria, pertussis (whooping cough), and tetanus. Contains toxoids for tetanus and subunits of pertussis.

Polio Vaccine: Protects from polio (duh). Can be administered through injection (inactivated virus) or orally (weakened virus). Injection is also extremely safe.

Combined DTaP-IPV-HepB Vaccine: Combination of vaccines usually for children lagging behind. The three vaccines are DTP, polio (injection), and HepB (for hepatitis B).4

The Immune System in Not-so-Brief

 Our bodies don’t like dying.

It’s generally a bad thing to die.

To begin, let’s quickly cover our body’s defense systems.

Innate Defense System

  • Skin and mucous membranes
  • Phagocytes (a type of white blood cell)
  • Antimicrobial proteins
  • Attack cells

Your skin and the mucous membranes around your organs provide the first line of defense for your body.

Your sweat has chemicals that destroy bacteria. Your slightly acidic skin destroys bacteria. Enzymes in your saliva, mucus, and eyes destroy bacteria. Your body really likes to destroy bacteria.

Phagocytes get called into battle to gobble up invaders, but they require energy to maintain.

Phagocytes

Neutrophils are the most common phagocytes. They can move around really fast and engulf germs before self-destructing. They can also secrete toxins. Neutrophils track down germs by tracking their chemical ‘scent’, which means they only attack stuff that doesn’t smell right. Neutrophils also self-destruct.

Macrophages are another type of phagocyte. They also eat germs, but they can eat multiple times, spitting out the digested gunk and then eating some more.

Natural Killer Cells

NK cells drift around in your blood looking for invaders. When they find one, they will essentially stab the shit out of it and pour in its toxins that make the cell self-destruct. They can also kill your own body cells if they’re infected. NK cells detect bad cells by checking if they create MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex), which is a set of proteins that healthy, non-infected cells have on their surface.

Body Responses

  • Fever: Raises body temperature in an attempt to kill bacteria
  • Inflammatory Response: Cranks up the heat around cuts to help with healing and make capillaries release proteins to clog the cut.
  • Leukocytosis: To create and direct more neutrophils (which will be dying a ton in the heat of their self-destructive battle), your body will send out monocytes and neutrophils from your bone marrow to squeeze through the capillaries and get to the battlefield.

Adaptive Defense System

If your innate defense system fails, your body will need to kick it into high gear, calling in your adaptive defense system.

Your adaptive defense system is much more specific than your innate defense system. It systematically targets invaders and memorizes them.

Battle Plan
  1. B cells detect stuff. The more stuff a B cell learns to recognize, the more information gets passed onto future B cells, making detection of the same thing easier. This ‘thing’ could be your body’s cells or an antigen (which can be any invader, such as a fungus, toxin, bacteria, or virus).
  2. Once your B cells get riled up, they’ll try to eliminate your invader. Each B cell has thousands of binding receptors. Each receptor binds to a single antigen, meaning that it takes a lot of B cells to find one that matches a specific antigen
  3. Once the correct B cell finds the correct antigen, the B cell will absorb it and begin rapidly reproducing. You’ll end up with a bunch of B cells with the exact same antibody to combat the specific antigen.
  4. At this point, the B cells will begin marking the antigens (these attacking B cells are called plasma cells). Some other B cells become memory B cells, which will help recognize the antigen in the future.
  5. Antibodies don’t directly attack the antigens.2

All of the inflaming and fever and weakness from the expenditure of energy for your immune system will make you feel sick and tired.

If you are re-exposed to the same antigen in the future, the memory B cells will still be around, detecting them faster and fighting back without you even noticing.

Dangers of Unvaccinated Children

I say ‘children’ because dead people don’t grow old.

Vaccinations depend on other people being immune. Unvaccinated children are extra-dangerous because they break the herd immunity. They also put others at risk as well.

Children’s immune systems are only recently developed. Most of the defenses they learned was while they were in the womb or through drinking breast milk. Immunity to more severe or rapidly changing diseases like influenza or chicken pox is naturally learned by sucking toes and being smothered in drool.

High rates of coverage are important. It takes only one child to become a big disease-spreading machine to cause an outbreak.

Outbreaks are classified as the sudden increase of disease in a time and place. Outbreaks can affect thousands or few, but the point is that unvaccinated children harboring disease stop the whole point of being immunized in the first place.

Influenza

The flu comes and goes predictably each year. The flu vaccine is usually a combined vaccine to provide immunity for the diseases that are predicted to strike during flu season.

But the flu is just the gateway disease that opens the door for ear infections, sinus infections, and pneumonia from all of the fluid buildup.

The death rates for the flu change each year. The ambiguity of the death rates occurs mostly from states not being required to report this information to people like the CDC. However, states are required to provide reports on the deaths of children, which is why we have an abundance of info on children and influenza but not the people reading this post.

In Short:

I use the term “In Short:’ a lot.

Also, unvaccinated people are at serious risk for disease and pose a serious risk for people around them.

Currently, 17 states in the US allow vaccine exemptions. There was a recent measles outbreak due to unvaccinated people in Washington, which is extremely concerning.

There was also a 30% increase in measles due to a lack of vaccine coverage last year.

I am proposing two different ideas to be reviewed by anybody who is actually knowledgeable about law and stuff so that they can be turned into law.

Proposal 1: Right to Scratch Children with Rusty Nails

Natural selection

Proposal 2: Right to Infiltrate and Vaccinate Sleeping Children

Evade the parents.

As a final note, I leave you with the super-easy staircase to preventing disease outbreaks:

  1. Remove personal belief exemptions.
  2. Tighten down on medical exemptions.
  3. Give more freedom to the kids to make their own decision on getting vaccinated and teach them about how they’ll fucking die and/or hurt everyone if they don’t. Kids shouldn’t have to wait to turn 18 so that they can escape their parents to get vaccinated.

If that was too complicated for the anti-vaxxers, let me simplify:

References

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/2017/066.pdf

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/washington-measles-outbreak-hundreds-rally-to-presesrve-not-to-vaccinate-children-2019-02-08/

https://www.who.int/wer/2016/wer9112.pdf?ua=1

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/conversations/downloads/vacsafe-understand-color-office.pdf

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-are-neutrophils-797223

Valentine’s Day is Boring

I woke up today at 7 am. It was a rainy day; and on top of that, the streetlights at the intersection at the front of school were broken, again.

The backlog of traffic stretched so far as to affect the freeway.

After entering first period I was instantly reminded it was Valentine’s Day.

Annoyingly bright red paper cards were splayed out on the desks with messages that sounded like a plea for consent or something you’d say to a jumper on the Golden Gate bridge. However, mine looked like this:

After a couple of classes had passed, I decided that the rain had silenced Valentine’s day and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace because there would not be a considerable increase of dickish couples taking up too much personal space in large public areas.


~ Intermission ~

I now bring you this intermission with teacher’s responses to random questions.

“Dragon Ball is bloodshed. It is violent. It is evil.” – A teacher commenting on Dragon Ball.

“Pokemon is too childish.” – A teacher commenting on Pokemon.

“What is that?” – A teacher commenting on My Hero Academia.

“That is unrelated to this class” – A teacher commenting on transgender students

That’s all for this intermission. I’ll find more stuff to do like this for future posts.


The rest of Valentines passed without anything else happening. The most excitement was at the hallway intersections because people were trying to open and close their umbrellas.

After some other lonely people stared at me as I popped a couple Kiss chocolates into my mouth (which they then saw was from my Lunchable and immediately reaccepted me nonverbally with their eye contact), I was on my way home.

The rain dimmed down into an obnoxious mist-thing where an umbrella doesn’t do much and the water gradually dampens all of your clothing.

After getting home, I stole a couple chocolates from my brother’s bag before they got checked and now I’m typing this at my computer with a yellow Starburst in my mouth because there weren’t actually any chocolates in what I stole.

However, I got to see some wonderful things in the wrappers of the candies I stole, such as “Make them Melt” and “It was My Pleasure“. If that’s really some elementary schooler candy, then I just want to know what’s on the wrappers of high school candy.

My Anti-People Bubble (And That Time I Got a Ton of Anime Goods)

This post should take about 23 minutes to read (get a cup of coffee and some Pocky). This is one of my largest posts, so there’ll be a slight delay before the next one.

I’m your average self-loathing Freshman.

High school is big, which I thought meant I wouldn’t need to interact with as many people on a day-to-day basis.

I was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

A major assumption I made when evaluating my chances of meeting people was that the size of the campus would make it so that I would meet less people.

High school is like a minefield, but the minefields are prone to explode at any time, and instead of mines it’s actually just a lot of socially and mentally unstable people.

You don’t know who is gonna dye their hair crazy colors, go emo, or become emotional over trivial things. One day you’re safe, the next you are getting caught in the explosion.

An actual thing that happened

A few months ago I was randomly confronted by an extroverted person I had been texting on Instagram for shits and giggles. As it turns out, they had gone through many, many phases since the last time I caught a glimpse of them in middle school.

Extroverts are a nightmare when navigating the high school minefield because they are like a magnet that pulls mines out of the ground to create a super-duper-dangerous zone. Even worse, this magnet follows people seemingly at random.

Being me, I went with the most logical route: to send extroverts away to get back to my normal, worry-free life.

Sometimes I get dragged out of my anti-people bench during lunch and thrown into perilous situations that usually involve awkward “yeah-I’m-eating-my-lunch-as-I-sit-next-to-you-because-I-don’t-want-to-interact” scenarios.

Analysis and dissection of awkward extroverts

Upon closer inspection, I realized that my relationship-ruining life-draining parasite was pretty socially awkward and just gifted/cursed with the natural tendency to attract people. And so that’s where I attacked them, albeit unintentionally.

Plan: I actively refuse to talk.

As it turns out, there is a lot of horribly bad chemistry between a misanthropic introvert and a hard-to-understand extrovert.

My refusal to talk resulted in most conversations being initiated by them via an Instagram DM.


This evened out the ground and put both of us at a disadvantage. A key phrase that gets tossed around by extroverts trying to get me to do something for them is, “you’re smart”.

But I’m not “smart”. People who actually know me would know that. The only reason to call a stranger “smart” is because you want to butter them up.

I’m pretty good at making conversations awkward, but I usually just roll with the other person’s clear lack of knowledge about me and go along with what they want.

What’s the worst that could happen?

The worst that could happen

I’ve been pulled into too many inconsistent long-term projects in the past couple months due to my “just roll with it” attitude. I can’t possibly go over all of them, so I’ll leave it at that.

Biting off more than I can chew has been extremely damaging to this site.

However, I’ve finally managed to start revamping some of the design and meekly kicking at some old projects to try and revive them, but I’m not in the clear yet. But you probably don’t care about about the behind-the-scenes stuff, so here’s the great big announcement: I’m finally posting more often.

Current Projects:

  • Working on a video game thing I was supposed to release right now but I haven’t touched it in the past couple weeks so I’m sorta fucked.
  • Finding a way to host video off-site but without the need to worry about stupid ads interfering.
  • Reuploading web serials from 2016-2017 to pay homage to this site’s roots. Also, I have had zero creative juices the past 6 months and have been unable to write new fiction so I’m hoping editing and proofreading over 16,000 words of web serials will reawaken by writing ability.

Since my posts have been rather lackluster I’ve decided to make this subsection filled with excuses to clear up everything but I don’t know what to call it so I’ll just make this paragraph the header for it instead.


Backend scripting and troubleshooting is Procrastinator’s Heaven

There’s nothing better than getting stumped trying to solve a useless minor problem to divert attention from important things like creating content.

I tried to make an anonymous message board, which ended up flopping after some security issues. It was really booming, and it came to a close overnight without warning. I have the files all backed up, so if I ever get back to it, I can.

It doesn’t help that the name of the message board ticked off my school’s IT department and got the attention of people all the way in Los Angeles to sneak into the site only to cause mess that took 2 days to clean up.

That’s two days I’m never getting back.

I still have a life

By ‘life’ I mean things I am obligated to do. (eg: Homework, eating, sleeping, school stuff).

My work ethic needs to change. I need to enjoy the sweet abyss of sleep, experience the bliss of writing in a quiet peaceful room once more, and to enjoy writing posts again. It doesn’t help that finals are happening in a couple days.

I’m also unironically typing all of this out with an overlooming assignment I have to finish in less than 24 hours.

I want to post more often

Here are some key traits of a WordPress blog that makes it to the Featured WordPress Reader:

  • Posts come out more than once a month.
  • The people running successful blogs see no problem with writing huge amounts of posts each week.

The obvious problem is the fact that I do none of these.

I have finals coming up in about two weeks scratch that, this is Neo One Day Before The Final interjecting Neo A Week Ago’s writing to tell you that I’m currently proofreading this post instead of studying for finals that happen in less than 14 hours.

Everything after this block was written 6 months ago.

The Very Fun Backstory

The story begins June 19, 2018. Exactly 8 days ago (from the time of writing) I made a bet with my friend that if I was able to keep over 100 followers on Instagram for a week in the span of a week (which is basically impossible due to assholes that unfollow people who reach 100), they’d buy me an anime body pillow.

Unsurprisingly, a stroke of luck befell me from the heavens. I went from 99 followers to 102 followers and didn’t dip back under 100. Great.

screenshot_20180617-130251-e1530111267880.jpg

Anyways, there are going to be some packages coming my way now, and I’m terrified.

I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen about two weeks from now when some Amazon boxes with questionable material magically appear at our doorstep with ‘Enchoseon’ stamped all over them. Despite my parents knowing next to nothing about this site, they still know it’s called Enchoseon.

I’m Freaking Out

So I did some negotiating and convinced my friend to switch body pillow covers. At first we decided on a nice Aqua-in-pajamas pillow cover, but it turned out to be slightly over-budget. Sucks, I know.

See the source image

At first they were gonna send me a nice pillow cover of Kanna from Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, but I panicked at the thought of my parents finding a loli anime cover.

I mean, I get that they hate what I like and actively show disdain, but an elementary schooler anime girl would not be good for the ever-growing amount of unspoken chaos.

And then we settled for Sagiri, who is 13 years old, who is much older than the 8-year-old Kanna. Improvement.

See the source imageBut then, after thinking everything was done and dusted, we switched back to Aqua. And then to Sagiri. And then through a gajillion other characters.
102.PNG

Since the inner pillow is coming two weeks from now, the pillow covers won’t be ordered until a few days before the inner pillow arrives (to make them arrive in conjunction with each other), and during that time, they might go out of stock or something. So until then, we just made a list of different eligible pillow covers to avoid any problems—and there might be a discount on some of the more expensive ones, which is what we’re really waiting for.

Penny-Pinching and Super-Duper Scheming

Even though I don’t directly control whatever hellish surprise is coming my way, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get the most bang out of our $75 $200 budget. Now, if this was a normal purchase, I’d just throw in my own $25 and call it a day, but this is not a normal purchase, and my friend and I are trying to figure out what the hell we are going to do.

Important Note: There was originally $75 $125 raised, but it was raised to $200 when we decided to do Operation Barrage. (More on that below.)

We had the longest chat over Instagram and it got to the point where we ended up making a list.
103.PNG

So let’s just contemplate the price of the inner pillow.

A regular inner pillow costs about $99, and we went for the most low-quality cheapest Chinese-bootleg we could find. Not very smart, but we didn’t have much of a choice.

Next, there are the pillowcases, which are supposed to be in the $45 area. We’re going to the good ol’ cheap Chinese mass-producers again, which reduces their prices to $20-$30.

The thing is, sending over a pillow isn’t enough. We need quantity to beat my parents, and if we can barrage them with a crapload of boxes, it’ll seem more intimidating than just two packages.

See the source image

We ended up crowdfunding the cash and got a $200 budget instead.

So with $200 bucks crowdfunded for a shitty reason and a very scary amount of incoming packages, the next two weeks will be interesting, to say the least.

Since most of this plan is about surprising me, I’m completely in the dark on what’s being sent. The only thing I get a say on is the body pillow because it’d suck to get a rash while I sleep. Also, I don’t want to look like a lolicon, so there’s that.

But I do know that there will be about six more items other than the inner pillow and dakimakura cover, which is hard to believe.

While it certainly feels like Christmas, since this entire scheme has a good chance of blowing up and wasting $200, it’s more like one of those cheesy Halloween-Christmas horror movies.

I Lost Money

Here’s my monthly spending:

Monthly Spending.png

I threw in $75 bucks to help pay off the costs for everything.

Let me reword that: I threw away $75 to screw myself.

So we didn’t really raise $200, we raised $125. But $200 sounds more intimidating, so I’ll just use that number instead.

One thing worth noting is that my friend already has an inner pillow, so if I had lost the bet I would’ve just paid $30-ish bucks for the outer cover and we wouldn’t have had this problem to begin with.

Operation Barrage/Gofundme

The Plan: Get lots of money and send lots of shit to my house in hopes that my parents won’t be able to confiscate all of it.

See the source image

We have some problems.

A) The cash was collected physically in big bills, which is stupid. It’s a physical scheme that was done with bikes and chocolate bars sold at double the price to random people. We called it a Gofundme as a joke, but it grew on us and ended up becoming a codename-thing instead.
B) I have a really bad, vital part in this plan.

So here’s the plan:
-Everybody else collects a shit ton of money | (Done)
-I get the money and exchange it for Amazon gift cards | (Not Done, Yet)
-I send $200 worth of Amazon gift cards to my friend, who will use their Amazon account to ruin my relationship with my parents | (Not Done, Yet)

The plan is really confusing.

Cash.png

So I asked my friend all of my questions.
-Why don’t I just buy the pillow?
-Why do I need to be the one to get the gift cards if I’ll just hand them back to you?

And these were the answers:
-To keep the mystery I’ll use my Amazon account.
-The cash isn’t safe with me.

I’ll be sending the gift codes by text while they’re chilling on the other side of the world in Japan. They’ll be leaving in a few days, and now we’re waiting for the last wads of cash to trickle in, so I have the responsibility of sending the cash to them in the form of Amazon Gift Cards.

My dream summer Japan trip never happened, so all of this makes me really jealous.

But the other half of this entire scheme is the part where I sneak out of my house and rush over to the nearest Albertsons to grab a bunch of Amazon gift cards and buy them all with a mysterious amount of cash that literally nobody should even be carrying.

To be fair, while everybody was working to raise the money, I was the one chilling in my house, sick in bed.

The First Trip

The first trip was not perfect or amazing. Rather, it was the complete opposite.

I left home on bike without my phone or watch, which was a stupid move because all my time estimates for the next trip are based on random guesses instead of actual evidence. Which means that my ’30-40 minutes’ estimate is probably off by a lot.

The first problem I had was with getting the bike out of the damn shed. I won’t go over everything, but the summary is that I had to pull out all of the bikes and scooters. And then a pedal of another bike got stuck in my wheel spokes and I spent a good amount of time wresting with everything.

When I finally started biking out of my house I was freaking out. I didn’t know how much time I wasted getting out the bike and I was trying to pedal at a dangerously fast speed in a neighborhood street filled with cars. All the bikes were splayed out around the shed in a mess, so I was worrying about how long it’d take for me to put them away.

So I, trying to be Sonic-fast because I’m an adrenaline-filled teenager with no sense of danger, decided to take a leap of faith 3 inches off the ground.

Sonic

I was going pretty slow, and what happened was comparable to what you’d experience riding a crummy bumper car. If I had been going a bit slower I would’ve just used the tiny ramp, but I couldn’t brake on time.

And of course, my bike, having gone through utter madness in the events at the shed, had the chain pop out. I immediately noticed that none of my pedaling was doing anything and that I was drifting to the other side of the street with the force of gravity while my legs pedaled worthlessly.

I dragged my bike over to the other side and realized what had happened. Feeling pretty pissed, I muttered a few things and the lady walking her dog on the other side of the street decided that I was dangerous (most likely from my incessant under-the-breath muttering), so she slowed down and let her poodle walk in front of her as some sort of guard dog.

I tugged the chain back onto the chain ring using my noodley arms and continued on my path as the chains clicked and clacked back into place for the first few seconds.

In retrospect, I probably looked like a druggie or runaway, or maybe some mix of the two, so that lady’s response was probably normal.

Anyways, I made it to the Albertsons and spent a few minutes looking for the gift cards frantically. I went all the way from the back to the front of the store to find an employee who pointed me to the gift cards, which were conveniently placed by the second entrance to the building. The only reason I hadn’t found them was because they were near the wine section, and I was already rushing around on a bike with nothing except sweatpants with one of those closeable pouches and a tight sweaty t-shirt, so sneaking around the wine section probably would’ve gotten me kicked out.

Once I picked up my gift cards I hurried over the only cashier open and joined what was probably the most anxiety-inducing line I had been in that entire summer.

I almost worked up the nerve to ask someone for the time, but I realized I didn’t even know what time I had left, so I decided against it. I wriggled around nervously in my shoes.

Once I reached the cashier, I pulled out the wad of moola and bought the cards. I also went and bought a small box of Werther’s caramels (my favorite candy) because they were only a buck and seventy-five cents.

See the source image

The box is currently sitting in my desk, still wrapped in plastic because I haven’t gotten around to eating them yet. What a waste.

I jumped on my bike, which was tilted over into a planter, and started going all the way back home. Of course, I forgot to pick up my change of three bucks because I forgot about the Werthers. After getting my change in one of those awkward “oh-yeah-my-three-bucks-gee-thanks” conversations, I began the trek back home.

I managed to get home sweatier than I had ever been the entire summer and took a much-needed bath.

I later sent the codes to my friend, brushed my teeth, and conked out. It was a successful trip.

Pre-Second Trip Jitters

Another day has passed, and I have yet to find an opening to exchange the next batch of money for gift cards.

Right now my friend is trying to cancel an inner pillow order because it’s too untrustworthy, even for sleazy Chinese bootleg.

If the inner pillow order cancellation works we’ll still need to order a different, less-untrustworthy sleazy Chinese bootleg. Heck, I have my suspicions that almost everything on Amazon is Chinese bootleg.

42.JPG

It would’ve been better to use Jlist or some other website specialized in high-quality Japan-imported items rather than fraudulent Amazon sellers, but of course, neither of us has a credit or debit card. Just splendid.

With the plan relying on a probably-shitty Amazon seller and the tiny shred of hope that I can make even more random people walking their dogs think I’m a druggie/runaway, both of us are on the edge of our seats.

However, my seat is literal and right behind my laptop and my friend’s seat is figurative since they’re probably having a good night’s sleep after another fun day in Japan.

The Second Trip

So here’s the updated checklist.

-Everybody else collects a shit ton of money | (Done)
-I get the money and exchange it for Amazon gift cards | (Done)
-I send $200 worth of Amazon gift cards to my friend, who will use their Amazon account to ruin my relationship with my parents | (Done)
-Disappoint my parents! | (Almost done, yay!)

The trip was pretty well. I also timed it and found out it only took 20 minutes.

The shed still pissed me off, but it was relatively faster since I knew that I had to take out all of the bikes before dragging out my own.

After leaving my bike hidden behind a planter in an area that is a favorite smoking spot for many of the local residents of the parking lot, I dashed over to the Albertsons and picked up a $100 and $25 Amazon gift card.

The cashier told me I was a “true baller.” She was damn right, but what she didn’t know was that all of that money was not going to my grandma or to be spent on expensive watches, Instead, it was going to be wasted for the shittiest reason on the face of the planet, asides from building a wall with such negative connotation that it carries with it a xenophobic aura.

After buying the gift cards, the nagging thoughts at the back of my head finally rose to full power.

See the source imageFirstly, I can trust them to buy the weirdest shit that’ll disappoint my parents.

Secondly, I can trust my parents to think that I spent the whole $200 and bitch about it for the next month.

Update From Neo 6 Months in The Future: Yeah, I prophesied this one, except it’s been 6 months and they still haven’t given up.

Thirdly, I can trust Amazon to goof up and send everything out of order.

Also, the new arrival times are July 10 through August 16, and holy shit, that’s coming up in 13 days (from the time of writing.)

I’m not sure if the number thirteen is a bad omen.

All I know so far is that there are 8 items coming to my house between July 10th and August 13, which is scary because all that I know is that they’ll be anime-themed. Which is not good for non-anime-otaku parents who probably won’t approve.

Uncategorized

This situation would’ve been better if I had done the bet with a non-anime-otaku friend because the wager would’ve just been something simple and common like candies or mints or hard drugs or nuclear warheads.

But of course, I did do the bet with my anime-otaku friend, and they decided to theme the plan around destabilizing my already-fragile relationship with my parents.

Absolutely wonderful.

July 3rd:
image

As it turns out, I’m three days away from the start of the worst day of this week.

I thought that I had at least another week before all hell broke loose, but I was wrong.

My short grace period has come to an abrupt end and now I only have a few days to pace around worriedly in my room before I disappoint my parents and get disowned.

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The next part of this post will probably be the part where I jump over to when I get the first package or something.

The Part Where I Was Supposed to Jump Over to the First Package or Something But Didn’t

July 5th
My piggy bank was dealt a crippling blow when I gave away my $75. I was planning on spending the next couple of months to recover all of it, but something urgent happened.

So the problem started when I was using my “unlimited” data. Which, contrary to literally everything I’ve heard about my dad’s data plan, is not actually unlimited. There was a 2 gig limit. Long-story-short, I screwed myself.

My room is far from the router. So after I found that the “unlimited” data was faster than the crappy wi-fi, I decided to load my YouTube videos on data. At the time, I was watching Fl Studio 12 tutorials, which meant that I was burning through multiple videos in those long tutorial playlists.

I also decided to download my manga off MangaRocks so I sorta used 8 gigs of data from that alone. Since this was a new phone everything needed to be updated/installed I just let the stuff do its thing on data so that it’d be faster. (The wi-fi to my room sometimes cuts out randomly.)

I’m screwed.

Arrival

The first item was supposed to arrive on July 6, on a Friday.

However, it didn’t actually arrive.

Luckily, another item, which wasn’t given a shipping time because the shipping wasn’t given a “Track Me” option, arrived on that same Friday anyways.

But my mom took the package and opened it up. Of course, nobody actually told me the mail had come (even though I had been looking out the window for a long time) so I went to sleep that Friday feeling utterly disappointed.

Then on Saturday, I got my package, pre-opened thanks to my curious parents. I was beyond pissed (I even told my them about the mail and not to open it beforehand and they still opened it), but now I have a kawaii Sagiri figure on my shelf.

However, I don’t understand how people can screw up “Don’t open the box” with “Open the box.”

All the other items arrived over the course of a month.

Aftermath

Okay, so this part is written by Present-Day Neo from December 2018. Welcome back.

Here’s what happened:

  1. I paid for self-hosting the site. The plan was to give my dad $15 each month to pay off self-hosting.
  2. My mom decided to check my money reserve and said I was missing $200 even though I was only missing $75.
  3. My dad forced me to pay for a whole year’s worth of self-hosting all at once, draining the rest of my money in an instant.
  4. My parents teamed up to accuse me of spending my own $200 on the anime goods.
  5. It’s been six months and my mom still won’t stop bugging me with, “admit the truth” and “stop telling lies about those figurines.”

This was a weird super-long bloggy post, which is extremely different than what you’re probably used to reading on this site.

Thanks for reading everything up to this point, and I’ll see you in the next post.

I Gave Someone Their Own Website

Procedure:

  1. I gave a test subject a domain ([redacted].enchoseon.com) and an email ([redacted]@enchoseon.com)
  2. I also set up their Content Management System (I chose Joomla for them).
  3. If the subject breaks any rules they will lose the domain.

The Rules:

– Do not buy any plugins.
– Get more than 17 unique visitors per week.
– Any inorganic traffic or backlinks will result in the site being revoked.
– If you screw up the site royally you have 5 strikes before you’re out. (White screen of death, too many redirects, etc.)
– Do not change the file storage location.
– Do not upload more than 500 mb of stuff.

Saturday – November 17

Alright, so I just finished the domain and everything. They have a trustworthy SSL certificate, a good self-hosting plan, and plenty of time to plan. Right now they’re on a cruise to Mexico, so they won’t be doing anything yet. Any hits they get until Monday will not count.

Quota: 1/17 (from me!)

Sunday – November 18

Yawn.

Nothing has happened. Except now I’m sick.

Quota: 1/17

Monday – November 19

The countdown starts today.

Also, nothing has happened and now my throat hurts like shit.

Quota: 1/17

Tuesday – November 20

A shocking a new development: My throat is absolutely horrible and I couldn’t even sleep last night.

Also, the subject has made their first post.

Here it is (the stuff in bold in the footnotes3 are my comments (click on them to reveal the message inside.)

 

The truth about phones these days

As technology continues to become more and more powerful, so had the companies that make these mobile devices, which means, the prices of these phones will also start growing too. But, companies like Oneplus, Huawei, LG and Xiaomi somehow manage to keep to their prices low for their phones, meanwhile the companies like Apple and Samsung keeps putting their prices higher and higher but is still on the top of the market share. 2

“Why is this?” you may be asking. and “How?”. How do these companies keep their prices so low and make their machines almost as powerful as desktop machines at a fraction of the price, while companies like Apple have a fraction of the performances of these phones and their prices several times of the prices of the other other companies 3 but still staying on the top of the market.

The answer isn’t just that easy to understand so here is some insight before we start. Apple who’s founder is Steve Jobs made the first smartphones. These phones were so much more advanced compared to the blackberry and Motorola phones that didn’t feature a touchscreen. Those were apples golden ages. 4 But, soon other companies started rising up by adding to the features the original iPhones had which caused a lot of competition. While times were tense, Steve Jobs had passed away leaving Apple in a hurry to take over Apple. 5 Not long after, Tim Cook took in the place of Steve Jobs place. 6 This Tim guy had a quite different attitude to doing business. Apple soon cared mainly about profit over anything else which caused a major downfall in their quality like in 2014 the iPhone 6 that had launched was bending and there was the iOS 10 incident where apple purposely made the software drain the battery forcing Apple customers to get a new battery therefore increasing their profits. 7Soon after they took out the headphone jack out of their phones AND NOT INCLUDING AN ADAPTER IN THE BOX. Not only that their adapter are ridiculously costly and the quality wasn’t even all that good. But why does Oneplus over there have a phone with a price so low, includes a fast charger has an octacore cpu, 8 gigs of ram, A DONGLE IN THE BOX (talking to you Apple) 8, and still half the price of and Iphone. That is because of advertising. Companies like Oneplus don’t do advertising like Apple does. Oneplus makes the super powerful machines at a super low price allowing people like me advertise for these devices. This price is what makes  Oneplus, Huawei, LG and Xiaomi still survive and thrive in the industry. But how does Apple still take up a lot of the market. That is also having to do with advertising because apple always have these celebrities use their phones while putting them on the big screen which attracts a lot of attention which makes more people want to buy it. But never the less, if you are a iPhone use right now, maybe for your next phone, pick up an Oneplus, Xiaomi or Huawei. And remember always stay curious.

Follow me on social media. [Link redacted]

It’s his first blog post with zero views, and he’s already plugging his Instagram rather than fixing the countless grammar errors and spelling mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, I rarely abide by the rules of writing myself, but slight readability is a requirement for a blog post.

Here are the current stats:

All the views from November 19 were from my devices and his Instagram self-promo only got one click (from me.)

I tried to analyze his writing with a fellow blogger’s using this tool, which is NOT comprehensive, but it’s fun to see how your paper ranks against famous poems.

His blog post got a 52.77 on the Flesch reading ease test, which is between “Fairly Difficult to Read” and “Difficult to Read”. For comparison, the median of all of my posts on quantum mechanics and neuroscience is 51.88.

Quota: 2/17

Saturday – November 24

The subject has not logged into the admin panel for the past couple days.

I think they missed my message telling them they were really far from the quota.

Oh well.

Quota: 2/17

Monday – November 26

So they got 0 views, but I lied to them and said they got 12 to make them feel better.

Quota: 2+Bonus 10/17

Delete button on keyboard

Blogging is hard, but ruining someone’s day is not.