Photoshopping Things Random People On Instagram Want

Now that you have successfully wasted 3 minutes, you can continue your day with a new hope for humanity that people exist in the world who do things for other people to have a tiny 3-second laugh from themselves upon watching their creation, which is not pathetic or sad, especially since those 3 seconds usually become the highlight of their day—Breaking the mundaneness of their normal lives and allowing brief escape from the crushing hammer of a society where the quietest is safest & toxic fear and anxiety make basic interaction a burden. I don’t know how I got here, I just started typing and now we’re here and I don’t like it so this post is just going to end now. Okay bye.

Day 1,023 of The Enchoseon Project

Hello. This post is being written on the 1,023rd day of The Enchoseon Project’s existence.

Lately, I have been sick in bed and/or sick out of bed wishing that I was in bed.

Because of that, I haven’t been able to post here lately.

Luckily, nobody actually cares.

This article is going to completely shake the foundations of The Enchoseon Project because my semi-conscious brain is going to transcend time and space to deliver you the best content you have ever seen.

Branching Out

In the past couple of years, The Enchoseon Project has grown into a behemoth with multiple ‘branches’ of projects for different types of projects that fall under it.

I’ve recently decommissioned a couple of branches and fixed up a few issues.

I Fixed The Blog Branch

Thanks to a special anon who was pissed off by the text formatting on this blog they decided to remind me that word-wrap is a thing.

Some Things Beyond Enchoseon

It is a (debatable) fact that the teenage years are the best years of human life.

This apparently has something to do with being young and reckless, thus allowing people to mature and discover inner meaning and life purpose.

With the winds of highschool stripping away my last shreds of hope and empathy for my peers, I’ve decided to stay at home and refrain from interacting with people.

My role is the observer, and I’m not going to change it.

Venturing out of my shell is dangerous, my school is a cesspool for drugs.

At the snap of their fingers, large blockades can suddenly appear, creating a temporary safe-zone for vaping, smoking, etc. Gambling and fighting usually take place off-campus.

The truth of the matter is that people can compartmentalize themselves so well that it is nearly impossible to figure out who you can rely on.

The rich and handsome gamblers and detestable fuckboys and cash-generating hoes and toxic gossip all make socializing and being around people an absolute nightmare.

So I’ve given up on socializing entirely. It’s too hard, confusing, and painful.

My main priority is to survive high school and grow The Enchoseon Project. Both priorities are intertwined, I cannot work on one without the other, so there’s no point trying to place one in higher importance above the other.

What’s Next?

I’m currently developing the Unknown Art Project and ThiccHub branch of Enchoseon. (Full info here.)

I’ll get back to blogging regularly once I get those projects back on their feet.

Thanks for reading, see you soon!

Happiness Is A Shitty Goal

The quality of life is improving by every imaginable standard.

The past two centuries have resulted in an explosion of human consciousness and understanding, giving our universe meaning and beauty.

Because, without consciousness, our universe would have no meaning and be a vast waste of space. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It would seem that the moral imperative is to get all the humans on Earth to team up and accelerate our species beyond our single planet and become more conscious or develop something more conscious than we are, seeding the universe with meaningfulness and life.

Unfortunately, that isn’t going so well.

The Grand Scheme of Things

We are all-too-aware of the entire world in a very abstract, incorrect, and plain stupid way. Apparently, we’ve got the main ideas—that we don’t play an integral role in the “grand scheme of things” and that, quite frankly, neither does anyone else. After a couple more generations pass after your death, you are going to be completely gone and forgotten.

Even if our actions have consequences that have crazy effects on the future, will those future things matter?

Humanity will probably go out the same way the dinosaurs did, but instead of being cooked by an asteroid impact, we’ll be cooked by a nuclear bomb. If the bomb doesn’t kill you initially, we’ll just die off in a nuclear winter.

Or, if that doesn’t happen, we’ll progress too slowly and get killed by climate change. Or really just anything else. We don’t really know, I just think that the nuclear bomb scenario is more likely right now.

Whether or not you matter in this “grand scheme” teeter-totters on the fringe of human scientific knowledge, individual blindness, society, life, the universe, and basically everything.

Considering how much we don’t know, everything that we do know will probably get pulled up from its roots and completely redone—So there’s no point in making massive conclusions on something that means so much to too many people.

Conclusion #1: You may or may not matter at all.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Ask any of my peers on what their goal in life is, and they’ll tell you that their goal is to be happy.

Happiness is a vague goal, like “be better” or “be faster”. Happiness doesn’t give the same inspiring goal line that “lose 20 pounds” or “buy this figurine” does.

But let’s roll with the idea for a bit to pick at it some more.

First question: What steps are taken to reach the uninspiring imaginary goal of being happy?

Answer: Most people look to financial freedom as the ultimate freedom to have infinite happiness.

Second question: Is financial freedom the biggest source of freedom you can have?

Answer: Definitely not, we are shackled heavily by our own biology with uncontrollable urges and emotions like anger, intense debilitating horniness, and our flawed psychology, among other things. Financial freedom can only take you so far.

Third question: So is a playground with ultimate freedom the goal line for being happy?

Answer: This question is too broad, too powerful, and too important, so it’s a definite ‘maybe’.

Conclusion #2: Happiness is a shitty, uninspiring goal line that provides zero motivation and is too vague to properly analyze.

What Do People Really Need, If It Isn’t Happiness?

People have been a thing for enough time for us to know that we’re missing something right now because suicide rates are rising. 1

For suicide to be a leading cause of death2, we know that we have missed something, really, really important in our crazy-fast advancement as a human species.

Let’s Look At History

The last time the US & UK experienced a spike in suicide was in 1980 when the HIV/AIDS epidemic caused widespread despair in young gay males.3

The “gay plague” as it was affectionately called, caused severe anxiety and stigma.4

The stigma against mental hygiene is growing stronger and stronger.

Psychiatric care should be something every person gets in a predictable, set time.

But, as it currently stands, we are heavily stigmatizing groups of people with stereotypes like “depressed g/u/rls trying to get attention” and “teens saying they are nihilist/atheist/whatever”.

Regardless of whether you could benefit from psychiatric checkups, there’s a crowd of people out there who scoff at anybody looking to practice good mental hygiene.

For some, the words “get help” or “mental health” are already massive turn-offs.

When it comes to physical health, we have no problem. We know how to put on bandages and disinfect and clean minor cuts, but we don’t know how to manage grief, despair, hormonal changes, and much more.

Mental hygiene education could reduce the self-destructive behavior that we see happening.

Of course, even “education” is a word that gets thrown around far too often to substitute actual solutions. I mean, seriously, “we should educate people on teen pregnancy so that they understand the risk” is a decent statement that I hear a lot when my peers go on factless political rants. The statement, by itself, is great if you’re actually going to talk about what that education is supposed to be, but nobody actually delves into that. Ever. Education is a word mindless cod use to substitute their brain coming up with thoughts.

So, what is mental hygiene education supposed to help people with, in a more specific sense?

  1. Relationship Breakups
  2. Friendship Breakups
  3. Friend & Family Deaths
  4. Debilitating Illnesses

Mental hygiene means teaching people to face grief without forcing them to “be strong” or “protect” others. It means showing true feelings and being okay with crying and knowing that forgetting events is not how you deal with pain.

Something I’ve found very helpful to know are the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance), but, the end goal for mental hygiene is to raise a generation of people who can rely on each other for mental support.

Conclusion #3: Mental hygiene should be taught like physical hygiene.

Happiness Is A Shitty Goal

I have trouble finding meaning in a lot of things I do.

I doubt happiness is a goal that is practical. But meaning, even if I’ve got no clue how to find it, is something that makes much more sense.

Everything lacks meaning. And even if it is a small spot in a small group on a small planet, meaning in life is the main goal. Meaning in the universe is still a big fat maybe, and it might stay that way for a very long time.

Conclusion #4: Meaning > Happiness

California’s “Water Crisis”

I’m a semi-proud Californian. On one hand, California has the largest economy in the entire US (probably because of Silicon Valley).5

On the other hand, California has plenty of humanitarian crises that need to be solved, such as the sheer amount of homeless people.

Humanitarian Crises Shouldn’t Be Politicized

As of late, California was slapped by the EPA over water quality.

California currently is facing droughts, Uranium, and Nitrate contamination (most likely by the agricultural industrialization).2

It should be kept in mind that California is also the third-largest state with over 39 million people and it is the 11th most population-dense state in the US. 3

That’s not to say that the water quality slap wasn’t a political move against Democrats. California is a member of The Big Eight, the top eight states with the most electoral votes, and it’s very Democratic. California is definitely a gigantic target, and considering its population density and the waste created because of it, there is a lot for the EPA to pick at.

The Letter from the EPA to California

Here is the link to the full letter.

The EPA is aware of the growing homelessness crisis developing in major California cities, including Los Angeles and San Francisco, and the impact of this crisis on the environment. Indeed. press reports indicate that “piles of human feces” on sidewalks and streets in these cities are becoming all too common [2]. The EPA is concerned about the potential water quality impacts from pathogens and other contaminants from untreated human waste entering nearby waters.

The press article linked is this one, and it shows how filthy the streets of San Francisco are. It’s worth keeping in mind that San Francisco makes up 0.02% of California’s population4 and that the pollution in San Francisco isn’t what it is throughout the entire state.

The amount of homeless people in the big cities is startling (sort of), California invests lots into supporting the homeless, and housing has skyrocketed in that 0.02% area politicians keep using to represent the entirety of the state.

It does not help that a certain promise by a certain someone to create an interagency council to end chronic homelessness has been stalled.

San Francisco is also one of the few major cities with sewers that combine stormwater and sewage flows that is not under a federal consent decree to meet the requirements of federal law

I was able to find this page on the combined sewer system in San Francisco.

Both combined and separate sewer systems take sewage to sewage treatment plants (duh), but the way they handle stormwater is a little different.

Combined sewer systems let stormwater and wastewater flow into the same pipes, which go to the treatment centers.

Separate sewers, as the name implies, have separate lines for stormwater.

In addition, separate sewer systems overflow less often, and they are newer. Most combined sewer systems are really old and can develop severe blockages like fatbergs.

Sewage overflow is a big problem, and there is no dodging the fact that San Francisco needs to invest billions of dollar into removing the inadequate and old combined sewer system.

As an important note, stormwater isn’t strictly rainwater. Stormwater can pick up trash, chemicals, oils, gas, and other random junk as it flows.


  1. California does not shoot needles into the bay.
  2. California’s sewer system is in working condition, even though it could be better, it isn’t extraordinarily horrible.
  3. California’s homelessness and water pollution problem are not linked.
  4. California is not pronounced Cali-fre-nia.

California Has Thirty Days

Gov. Gavin Newsom has thirty days to provide a detailed plan to get California to comply with federal environmental laws.

I request a written response within 30 days outlining in detail how California intends to address the concerns and violations identified herin.

Once those thirty days are up, the EPA will take control of operations.

It has become startlingly obvious that the Trump Administration does not like California.

The Trump Administration has removed California’s right to impose laws on limiting air pollution while threatening to stop federal highway funds if California doesn’t clean up more of its air.

The impending EPA takeover is not a good sign, either.

So, is the Trump Administration using the government as a massive club against California?


And that’s the conclusion I was able to reach. If you spot any horrible mistakes in this post, please send me an email. This topic is very, very sensitive due to the political aspects (when it really shouldn’t be a political issue at all), and I can’t afford to be another outlet of misinformation when we should all be teaming up to think about this problem.

Super Fantastical #5: S.T.E.V.E.S

Welcome to the fifth installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate.

Planet Martha

STEVES: Hello Madam, I am S-T-E-V-E-S, but you can call me STEVES.

Princess: Hello STEVES, I have awaited your arrival. The Seer has told me that the universe is in danger.

STEVES: That is correct, Madam.

Princess: What is it this time? An ancient plague? A fleet of Dracvinian battleships?

STEVES: Far worse, Madam. The Intergalactic Federation has enacted the Female Equality ruling, using the power of The Council to override the power of The People.

Princess: Holy Jeberdee!

STEVES: Indeed Madam.

Princess: STEVES, what will we do?

STEVES: Error, anomaly in my memory system found. I believe I am getting hacked.

Princess: Oh no! Quick, turn off your wi-fi or something!

*STEVES’ eye turns from blue to red*


*Bad STEVES fires a laser—Which is abruptly cut off for dramatic effect*

Planet Homo(sapien)

(note, first ‘Homo’ shows up, then ‘sapien’ slowly fades in next to it)

*Show the Earth from far away and play dramatic music*

*Slowly zoom in*



*Jumpscare everyone with the sound of loud engine and make a ship suddenly drift into view*

Horgus: I’m approaching Planet 35. I will be handing off the important information to the Contact.

???: Sure thing, Horgus. Remember, that important information is really important. Don’t lose it.

Horgus: Got it.

*Horgus lands the ship in the middle of a desert*

Horgus: What language do these people speak, again?

???: This species is still quite primitive and there is no shared language among them. You are in the area known as ‘Mexico’, so I will set your vocal translabobulator to Mexican.

Horgus: Thanks.

???: Haha.

Horgus: What?

???: I’m sorry, it’s just that Mexican is quite a funny language. I have no idea what the Dracvinians were thinking when they created their language based on sound vibrations from slapping their genitals between their thighs even though they had perfectly normal vocal cords.

Horgus: Should I prepare my penis to speak with these people?

???: I’ve equipped your suit with some Dracvinian lube, you should speak Mexican with perfect fluency.

3 Hours of Trekking Through The Desert Later…

*Horgus walks into a diner with his penis limp and ready to speak Mexican*

Horgus: clap clap clop clap clop clap (Hello, I am quite thirsty, does anyone have any water?)

*Everyone stares awkwardly at Horgus*

Horgus (whispering): Hey, wasn’t the keyword water?

???: Yes, I thought it was.

Contact: clup clup clep clop clap (Oh yes, I have some water.)

*Horgus walks in the direction of the noise and notices the mysterious cloaked figure that was sitting in the corner of the room the entire time*

Horgus: clep clop clurp (Hello, stranger)

Contact: clep clep clep (Sit down, sit down)

Horgus: clop clop clep (I have the important information)

Contact: You can stop doing that now.

Horgus: Oh okay.

Contact: You can call me Mac, I assume you have the information?

Horgus: Yes, all of the information is in this pendant.

*Horgus holds up a USB drive*

Mac the Contact: Ah, Princess was smart to use primitive technology. There is no chance of being tracked with this.

Horgus: Wait.

Mac the Contact: What?

Horgus: Did you hear that?

Mac the Contact: Hear what?

*There’s a loud bang, a squad of troops storms into the diner*

Troop 1: clep clop clop clop (Where is Mac Guffin)

Mac the Contact: Shit.

*Horgus pulls out his gun, but it gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls out another gun, but it too gets shot out of his hand*

*Horgus pulls a knife out from his coat, but it (surprise) is shot out of his hand*

*Horgus is finally captured*

Troop 1: Boss, we have Mac.

*Horgus winks at Mac as he is dragged away*

Eroc’s Battleship

Eroc: Hello, Mac.

Horgus: Hi.

Eroc: Hey can you pull your pants up we aren’t in Mexico anymore.

Horgus: Oh okay.

*Horgus pulls his pants back up*

Eroc: Anyways, do you know what a pain you have been, Mac?

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Your days of troubling me are no more. Give me the important information and I will make your death painless.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Mac, tell me, where is the important information.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Eroc: Fuckin’ Mac, never answering me.

Horgus: Uhhhh

Mac’s Ship

*Mac jumps into his ship and immediately starts pressing a lot of important buttons*

Mac: Computer, navigate to the location on this USB drive.

Computer: Aight bro.

Mac: Love you bro.

Computer: Nice ass bro.

Mac: Broooo.

Computer: Brooooooooooo.

Planet Martha (But It’s Red And Shit)

*Camera slowly zooms in on Planet Martha. It is now red and evil looking.*

Mac: This is the place?

Computer: Yeah. That’s weird, there are no defense systems.

Mac: Where’s the Asset?

Computer: Aha! I found a heat signal on the middle of that ominous storm.

Mac: Nice job bro!

Computer: Thanks bro.

Mac: No problem bro.

*Mac lands the ship and gets off*

Computer: Mac, I detect an incomin—

*A big laser hits Mac’s ship and it explodes dramatically, sending Mac flying backwards*

*Eroc’s ship flies past*


Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Princess: I heard something.

STEVES: i-I h-He-Ard n-Nothing, m-Maam.

*Turns around, reveals massive scar over right eye*

STEVES: m-Maam, I d-Detect s-Some h-Heat si-g-Gnatures n-Nearby.

Princess: Wonderful, let them in. I’ve been waiting a few days for this moment.

*Mac walks in*

Mac: Whoa! Was that a teleportation beam?

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Holy shit your eye!

Princess: Yes.

Mac: Do you have the Asset?

Princess: Yes.

STEVES: i-I a-Am t-The a-Ass-Et. i c-Contain i-Infor-Mation o-N t-The c-Council’s p-Plans.

Mac: Cool!

Princess: My duty is over.

*Princess pulls out a vaporizer and shoots herself, she is instantly vaporized*


STEVES: t-Take m-Me t-To t-The p-People’s h-Headquaters. T-They’ll k-Know w-What t-t-to d-Do.

Mac: Bro she just killed herself!

STEVES: t-That h-Hoe d-Deserv-Ved i-It.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: So. Like. Why is The Council doing this?

Eroc: The Female Equality plan will eradicate all males from the universe, preventing all future wars, rapes, wage inequality, disease, death, and old age.

Horgus: What the fuck.

Eroc: I don’t know man these people are wack. They’re bribed all our officials and I’m just carrying out my job here.

Horgus: Why don’t you help us rebel?

Eroc: They have my family.

Horgus: Where are they?

Eroc: Th-they have my family!

Horgus: You look a little pale man.

Eroc: Haaa, haaaaa~

Horgus: Are you okay?

Eroc: I-I don’t know.

Horgus: Wait, aren’t you an Orgers?

Eroc: Yeah…

Horgus: You reproduce asexually and live solitary lives, don’t you?

*Eroc faints*

*Horgus walks over to Eroc’s body*

Horgus: I knew it, brainwashing.

*Horgus pulls Eroc’s three eyelids open and plucks out a thin wire*

*A massive electronic tentacle slithers out, attached to the wire, Horgus stomps on it*

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Thank you for fixing my vocal transcodponderer.

Mac: No problem, bro. It definitely isn’t because it’s really annoying to t-Ty-pe l-Like t-This.

STEVES: Understandable.

Mac: So how do we get off this planet?

STEVES: Your ship?

Mac: It got blown up by Eroc’s ship.

STEVES: Is Eroc’s ship still here?

Mac: I think so.

STEVES: Is Eroc your friend?

Mac: What. no! He’s a bad guy!

STEVES: Hacking Eroc’s Ship…

Mac: Can you hack faster.


*Montage of STEVES beeping and booping, dramatically, with dramatic music in the background to show how dramatic it is*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: Why is the ship descending.

Eroc: I have no clue.

Horgus: I think we’re getting hacked.

Eroc: How can you tell.

Horgus: Well, the computer is glitching out and shit.

Eroc: But aren’t you supposed to be sneaky when you hack something. Opening a bunch of tabs remotely is really useless.

Horgus: What do we do?

Eroc: Get me another keyboard. I’m going to out-hack this hacker.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

STEVES: Shiiiiit, they have another keyboard. This guy is typing commands back faster than I am!

Mac: What can we do?

STEVES: Do you have sunglasses?

Mac: Yeah.

STEVES: Put them on me, I don’t have any arms so just put them on right there.

Mac: Where.

STEVES: There.

Mac: Bro you’re just sitting there.


Mac: Okay okay.

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Eroc: Oh my god he’s hacking back!

Horgus: I’m on it.

*Horgus brings in two extra monitors*

Eroc: Alright, now we’re talking.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: Alright, I’m going to start mumbling a bunch of advanced terms.

STEVES: Do it.


Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

*Smoke begins pouring out of the control panel*

Horgus: Shit shit shit!

Eroc: They got to the mainframe before I could activate the subjugate firewall using the CPU to overclock the GPUs cache. We’ve lost all control.

Planet Martha: Eye of The Storm

Mac: We did it!

STEVES: I’m… sorry… human…

*Smoke pours out of STEVES shell and all of his lights flicker out*

*A small tray pops out holding a crystal*

*Mac picks up the crystal, and he is suddenly engulfed in bright white light*

Above Planet Martha: Eroc’s Ship

Horgus: We’re being boarded!

Eroc: It was nice while it lasted man. Thanks for unbrainwashing me.

Horgus: No problem man. I’ll see you on the other side.

*Mac walks out of the boarding pod*

Mac: What the—

Horgus: Mac!

Eroc: What?

Horgus: Oh yeah, he’s Mac and my name’s actually Horgus.

Eroc: This entire time I’ve been living a lie?

Mac: What’s happening? Isn’t he the bad guy?

Eroc: You’ll pay for this!

*Eroc jumps into an escape pod and is shot out into space*

Horgus: Wait, do you have the Asset?

Mac: Got it right here.

*Mac shows him the crystal*

Horgus: Nice job!

Mac: Now we need to take this back to headquarters.

Horgus: Well, we do have this Dracvinian battleship…

Mac: Hell yeah!

30 minutes later (Dracvinian battleships are very fast)

Horgus: This crystal contains The Council’s next tactical move. Mac, put it in the reader.

Mac: Got it.

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Oooohhhh. aaah.

Computer: Reading memory crystal…

Crowd of Smart Leadery People: Ooohhhhhh. aahhhhh.

Computer: Oops, it was a trap.

*Computer shuts off*

Horgus: What?

Mac: Oh no! All of our important information was on that!

Member of Crowd: Didn’t you take a backup?

Mac: …No.

*screen fades to black*

*The following text slowly scrolls into view*

Always backup your data

~The End~

Project 11 – Chapter 1

Welcome to Refurbished Writing, a series where I revise and polish the old web stories that I originally worked on for this website (two years ago).

The following story was originally created for from late 2016 to really early 2018 and it was re-discovered and polished over the span of a few days.

I tried to keep it as close to the original as possible while removing a lot of junk. (I kept the original cringe chapter names).

If you are one of the 1,129 people who read the series on my old WordPress, I congratulate you on sticking with me for so long.

About Project 11

Project 11 was a placeholder name for the main web serial I wrote on Unfortunately, I tore it down when I changed gears and began writing blog posts on instead.

It has a fond place in my heart, but its still very messy and lacking coherency.

This web serial was created back when I was playing Va-11 Hall-A, an awesome VN that you should go play right the fuck now.

I used a lot of characters and things from Ysbryd Games’ stuff (eg Read-Only Memories) because of how much I love them.

This story was NOT created as fanfiction and does NOT fit into the plot of Va-11 Hall-A or any of the worldbuilding. I built the entire world from scratch and threw in things I liked as a reminder of what got me started.

I still haven’t completed Va-11 Hall-A. I hope I get the free time to play it again soon. It’s been about two years since I stopped playing. I really want to play it again and actually reach a single goddamn ending. However, I haven’t found any time in the past two years for me to fully chill and enjoy playing it. I really shouldn’t hold this off for much longer, because I guess its only downhill from here ;C

This is chapter 1 of 4. I have yet to finish going through Chapter 2, so for now this is Chapter 1, and Chapter 1 only.

Chapter 1: Glimmering City

December 20, 2998

The slow patter of rain echoed through the city. Every drop glistened and sparkled in the night air before hitting the pavement. The fiercely bright city lights illuminated the sky in a plethora of bursting colors. A thick blanket of multi-colored clouds blocked the moon.

Sparkling with the rain, damp concrete became a meaningless grey blur. The wet ground created a phantasmic reflection of the sky.

Light fog enveloped the streets and bitter winds blew. It was silent. The thin haze played with distance and light—Twisting it, blocking it.

Footsteps echoed. The figure took a shuddering breath as he stepped out of an alley and onto an empty street.

He took an apprehensive step forward followed by a shaky gasp. Shuddering, he leaned against a wall. A billowing gray cloud of vapor left his hood. Shrouded in the dim streetlamp, he spun around slowly, gazing in awe of the vibrant colors far above his head.

He wasn’t sure of many things at that moment, but he knew one thing for certain: My hands are about to freeze off.

He smiled, and began down the street.

As he walked, the pitter-patter of the rain grew louder. Neon signs flickered and shook.

He increased his stride.

Raindrops collided with the ground, forming a low monotonous ring that vibrated the air with power. The vibrations reached deep into his chest.

The rain grew into a downpour, and the vibrations deafening. The man continued, faster and faster. His shoes clicked with the concrete with each step. His ragged breath became more erratic and clumsy.

His thin shoes were soaked. Their cloth changed to a darker shade in the rain. The rain sparkled with the sky and slid around the edges before splattering against the floor.

Thump. The noise reverberated through the street. The figure stopped and lost his footing, both of his feet skidding forwards a few inches.

He slowly spun around, searching for the source of the thump.

Thump thump. On the other side of the street was a small window. The sign above it read out in bright red, “Dana’s Eatery and Bar”. The sign had nearly gone out, it was dim and slowly flickered, buzzing louder than the rain.

A girl sat by the semi-circle window wearing a small blue bow. She waved at him.

Something about her struck the man as peculiar. She waved at him through the glass before pointing to her right—At the entrance. She beckoned eagerly and sat down, watching intently. Her hazel eyes sparkled with the rain.

She got up again. Thump thump thump.

“Alright, fine” he mumbled.

The man went over to the entrance. The rain pelted him with heavy stinging drops. The large metal door towered above him. Rust covered most of the door and the paint was peeling, or was it the metal?

He groped around in the darkness for a latch or lever, but couldn’t find one. Crouching down, he tried feeling around in the shadows near the bottom of the door.

He stood up, but tripped and slammed his face against the metal. The door budged and began sliding slowly to the right. It screeching and clanked, creating a cacophonous ring. A warm beam of light flowed out of the doorway and welcomed him.

Without thinking, he dashed in.

Better than the rain, he thought.

Once inside, he pulled down his hood and peeled off his jacket before hanging it around his arm.

He was in his twenties. Black-framed glasses were perched on his nose, they had tiny water droplets on them. He took them off and wiped them with the inner part of his jacket. He carefully surveyed the bar, but could only see dimly lit shapes and patterns.

He put his glasses back on.

There were a few people sitting at the front, but they were busy talking among one another and hadn’t noticed him enter. The door, without warning, slid shut with a loud clang, closing off much faster than it had opened. Startled, he stepped forward instinctively.

A jukebox in the corner of the room softly played, drowning out the muffled sound of rain.

To his far-right sat the girl who had been waving at him through the window. She was sitting at a table by the window. She waved at him frantically, mouthing something excitedly.

He walked over to her and pulled out the chair opposite from hers. The rain pounded against the glass silently. He picked his jacket off his arm and draped it around the back of his chair. The tension in his shoulders eased as he let out a long sigh. His hands were numb and ached, but he was glad to be out of the cold.

The girl looked at him for a few seconds with a blank stare.

A multitude of worries flashed through his mind at lightning speed. But, before he could finish, she began speaking.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lilly!”

The man stumbled over his thoughts before replying. “I’m Brand”.

She leaned across the table and gave him a small tablet.

Brand looked at the text and discovered he couldn’t read it. Shit.

Lilly shyly took the tablet back, “Um, so… you weren’t looking for this?”

He replied, unsure, “Yeah.”

She fell back into her chair for some time. “I’ll get you a drink to make up for this.”

He pushed his chair back and stood up. “No—I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.”

“It’s fine! It’s on me!”

A flash of lightning briefly filled the room with blinding white light.

A rumble of thunder followed in quick succession. The floor shook violently, throwing Brand off-balance. He stumbled over his chair in surprise and landed flat on his back. Black dots filled his vision. He blinked a few times.

Glass clinked and liquid sloshed. Brand glanced through the window and saw yellow sparks.

Holy shiit.

“Look’s like the storm is really picking up out there” stated one of the men sitting at the bar. He had been in the middle of a sip, his white t-shirt was stained dirty yellow.

A black sheet of metal slowly descended over the entrance door, whirring loudly.

“Attention all customers, we are currently going into lockdown due to the thunderstorm” Jill announced.

“They didn’t tell us there was going to be lightning!” complained one of the men sitting at the bar.

“Hey Jill, how long is the storm gonna last?” Lilly asked.

Jill wiped some spilled lemon zest into her hands, “I reckon it’ll be a few hours, the ones that creep up on you always are,” she threw the zest into a bin and wiped her hands on her apron, “You want anything?”

“Yup! Two Sugar Rushes please!”

Brand exhaled sharply, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He stood up and sat back down on his chair.

“Do you know a place I can stay for the night?” he asked.


He waited for her to elaborate on this, but got nothing.

Lilly stood up and walked over to the bar and returned with two highball glasses.

“Try some, it’s good!” She handed him a glass.

Brand stared at the glass. It was filled with a pink slush.

Lilly watched him intently through her glass.

Feeling pressured, he took a small sip and discovered it tasted like strawberries. He couldn’t hide his interest and took another, realizing that it tasted like sugar. He took another, and another.

Feeling a small hint of relief, he took a final refreshing gulp and rested his head on his arm, staring at his reflection in the glass. Lilly followed suit, and they stared at the rain streaking down the glass.

Brand felt waves of drowsiness wash over him. The ethereal rain slowed with the music and the lights began to dim. His eyelids became heavier and heavier, until he finally closed his eyes.

Soon he was fast asleep with his face on the table. The rain outside slowly dissipated and the metal barricade began to roll up. The storm was over.

Lilly curled her hands into a small fist and lightly knocked on Brand’s unconscious head. When that didn’t work she clenched her fist and applied moderate force.

He sprung up. “What the—”

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

Holding back a grimace, Brand reached around his head, “Wait, where are my glasses?”

Lilly gave him his glasses. “From the way you were turning, you almost crushed them.”

He put them on, “Thanks.” He blinked a few times and looked through the glass pane, “Hey, the rain stopped!”

The clouds outside had thinned out and a tiny bit of sunlight streamed through. It was still early, but the city was coming to life as people churned through the streets.

Lilly burst out of her chair, “Oh, I know!”


“Let’s go get something for breakfast!”

I don’t have any money.

Lilly grabbed his arm and dragged him out the front door, “Bye Jill!”

It wasn’t bright outside, but Brand still held up his hands to shield his eyes from the sun. Lilly weaved through the crowd as he stumbled after her, desperately trying to catch up.

Why am I following her? I should just run.

Lilly turned around and smiled, “Over here!”

She took a sharp right and began dashing down the street even faster than before.

Lilly quickly came to a stop in front of a door. “Here!”

The door was a plastic shell that mimicked wood and had dull green paint. A brass plate above it read, “Pastries & Confectionery Emporium.”

Lilly stepped behind Brand and propelled him into the bakery, “C’mon slowpoke.”

The spongy cake bounced around on Brand’s spoon as he tried to take a bite. It jumped off his spoon just before he could take a bite and dove onto his pants. He picked it up with his thumb and forefinger before popping it into his mouth.

Lilly lifted her fork and pointed at him, “That’s gonna leave a stain.”

Surely enough, there was a small brown stain on his black slacks. He grabbed a napkin and rubbed furiously.

Lilly giggled, “I told you to get the pancakes. But did you listen? Nooooooo.

“Yeah, but those cost more” Brand replied, still vigorously wiping.

Lilly took a big bite of her blueberry pancake, “What’s the point of treating you to breakfast if you’re not even gonna eat? Jeez, I’ll just do it for you.”

She raised her hand, a waitress came over. “Excuse me, I’d like a plate of chocolate waffles.”

The waitress nodded, took a questioning glance at Brand and looked at Lilly with raised eyebrows, received no response, shrugged, and walked away.

Destroy the Public #1: Victims and Mobs

Keep in mind that I’m an observer making an analysis, which, in essence, is just an educated guess from a rather uneducated person. I am also making these words annoyingly bright red in order to get the point across that I’m disclaiming all future accusations under the basis excuse that I am stupid and you shouldn’t trust a random guy on the internet. Also worth noting is that this isn’t a satirical piece, just highly sarcastic.

“I love teaching freshmen!”

“Mrs. ___, you’re our fav teacher, will we see you next year?”

“Hell no, I hate sophomores.”

Now that I’m a sophomore, I’ve realized why sophomores suck.

It’s the sheer amount of drama. It’s absolutely and positively horrendous.

As a pacifist observer, my main goal is to not become a nihilist. My secondary goal is to understand the behind-the-scenes when drama breaks out. I don’t mean reading into the drama and getting personally attached to a topic, I mean reading into why people can be so cruel in the first place.

People can be all sorts of horrible, sadistic, and depressing. As the guy with zero presence in a room, I have had my fair share of people using my head as a medium for their gossip, so, after forming some thoughts and whatnot, I’ve compiled this post.

Table of Contents:

The Character Playbook

~ The ‘Real’ Victim Playbook ~
(aka “I have real evidence”)

Defensive Moves:
1. Pick the truest and most coherent story and be more honest to avoid getting caught lying.
2. Use real evidence, people will be sensitive and have sympathy. Use that sympathy before someone beats you to the punch.

Offensive Moves:
1. Look for the bizarre, unrelated statements that are substituting the solid evidence in the opposing groups’ claims.
2. Your goal is to destroy the other victims’ bogus defense before the Mob turns on you.
3. When you make a statement, you have to defend it.

~ The Fake Victim Playbook ~
(aka “I have no real evidence”)

Defensive Moves:
1. Construct a story that fits previous claims while shitting on the preferred party. Have no inconsistencies, and meld perfectly into the truth.
2. Fabricate evidence by taking things out of context, people will be sensitive and have sympathy. Use that sympathy before someone beats you to the punch.
3. Do not focus on creating statements that validate other victims, focus on creating statements that coexist with the real facts without denying them.

Offensive Moves:
1. Rapidly attack, overload the playing field with bogus statements so that there is too much to dispute.
2. Your goal is to destroy the other victims’ powerful offense.
3. Be confident. Be more specific, vivid, and rallying than others. Skew people’s perspectives before the other parties win. Be brutal.
4. When you make a statement, you have to defend it.

~ The Observer Playbook ~

Defensive Moves:
1. Observe.

Offensive Moves:
1. Be saddened and leave.

~ The Truthist Playbook ~

1. Identify discrepancies between all stories.

2. Identify as much unrelated, bogus defense as possible, that is the Fake Victims’ defense.

3. Identify gaslighting when ‘abuse’ pops up.

4. Identify the misuse of statistics as solid facts.

5. Identify unsubstantiated POV statements from fact.

6. Identify groundbreaking statements that lack evidence.

7. Identify statements as ethos, pathos, and logos (just for organization.)

8. Identify details omitted (on purpose or by accident). Keep in mind you are not entitled to missing details and you have to fill in the blanks yourself.

9. Identify other parties and their statements.

10. Identify responses that were screwed-up (eg: a bad apology letter) and assess if it can be used as evidence or if it’s just a goof-up under pressure. Smart people will probably follow up a screwed-up apology with a legitimately good apology + explanation as well.

11. Identify statements that were not defended after being attacked.

12. Identify nice statements that are not good. Being and nice and being good are unrelated.

13. Identify false sexual misconduct allegations created to end people’s careers. False allegations may be a minority, but in a heated situation, they may be used to permanently deface someone. (eg Brett Kavanaugh getting defaced by evidenceless accusations5)

14. Identify aggression that is not abuse.

15. Identify initial responses and follow-up responses, then look for discrepancies.

16. Identify the abuse of reputation. Reputation does not alter the truth.

17. Identify stalemates. Not everything is a ‘one point scored for this team’ scenario.

Situational Hazards

Statements are more important than the Mob

The Mob is not a part of the evidence. Do not trust the Mob.

Evidence Can Beat Mobs… Eventually

Legitimate, good evidence increases the chance that a popular fact-checking YouTuber convinces people that one side is right.

Bad Reputation Can Only Be Solved By The Victim, But There’s A Time Limit

Relying on other people to save your ass does not work. Important, incriminating statements must be refuted ASAP to flip a situation. The moment the public interest dies out, reputations will stay locked and forever tainted. Unless public interest can be regained in a number bigger than the initial fame (which it rarely does, because by that point the meme is ‘dead’), everything that is screwed up, stays screwed up.

Take, for example, the popular porn site Hentaihaven. There was a brief miscommunication between the owner of Hentaihaven and FAKKU, a company offering to supply Hentaihaven with legitimate content licenses. This resulted in a massive hate campaign against FAKKU. This hate was NOT from longtime FAKKU haters (who have their own legitimate and well-made reasons), but from people mindlessly bandwagoning. Both parties resolved and publicly stated that everything was a misunderstanding, but the public popularity had already died out.

Powerful Victims Cannot Snap Statements Out of Existence With The Power of Empathy and Support, But They Can Do Serious Damage

The more a situation seems extremely black & white, the more power victims will have over a Mob. Therefore, a ‘fake’ victim’s goal would be to make the Mob be in their favor before the tide turns.

Mobs cannot vaporize good, well-made points, however, they can vaporize people’s Twitter accounts, Instagram accounts, etc. However, Mobs cannot vaporize people themselves. This does not mean Mobs are not dangerous, Mobs are extremely dangerous.

Big And Small Power Interactions Cause Tension

Smaller powers have to be suspicious of being manipulated. They have less room to retaliate if attacked and cannot afford to screw up.

Bigger powers have a reputation to uphold, therefore any scandals and accusations that could pop up would be disastrous.

When these powers interact, it creates massive amounts of tension.

The Person Who Starts A Fire Could Get Caught On Fire

This is the truth.

The Power of the Mob Will ALWAYS Backfire On Itself

…If it doesn’t stop or die out fast enough. The longer a Mob exists, the chances of the Mob fucking itself increases to 1.

Statements From Primary Sources

They are not the truth.

Paraphrasing Other People

Is also not the truth.

We Are In The Age of Technology

We always have been, it’s just that we’re better than before, and in the future people will be better than us (if humanity plays its cards right and doesn’t kill everything with a nuclear war.)

Drama happens online. Statements are made online.

The primary source is NOW AVAILABLE. Original statements are NOW AVAILABLE.

You no longer need to paraphrase something in order to as close to the primary source as possible, you can just look at the primary source’s Tweet history.

The telephone game still certainly exists, especially with media battling to see who gets to tell a story first.

But, in the end, it’s on the normal people (aka ‘The Public’) to avoid becoming a mindless Mob and to live by the Truthist Playbook.

The Golden Rule (For Victims): Evidence in a timely manner trumps everything, depending on if you aren’t completely screwed over already. The Mob is a tool that you have to use before someone else does.

A Highschool Class But It’s A Textboard Shitpost

Teacher: Hi.

AttentionWhore: Suck my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic.

IHateMySeat: *If I wasn’t shy I would beat the shit out of you, goddamn AttentionWhore.*


NormalPeople27: *If it wasn’t against the law I would kill you, BiggerAttentionWhore*

Teacher: Okay shut the fuck up and take out your notebooks.


Teacher: You do this every day. Get back in your seat.

AllHonorsAndAP: Teacher, do you mean we should be taking our notebooks out right now in this worldline in our subjective consciousnesses or are you saying that the symbol of the notebook is interrelated with the class but unrelated to a physical, tangible, notebook?

Teacher: Who the fuck talks like that. Stop wasting class time by enlarging your sentences with bullshit and let everyone else have a chance to ask legitimate questions. I’ve seen you talk with your friends, don’t come up to me and start acting fine and dandy with your academic crap.

headDick: Haha it’s so funny to randomly grab and touch IHateMySeat’s back guys. This is comedy gold and everyone loves me haha.

IHateMySeat: *Oh wow that’s so funny! Eat shit and go burn in hell!*

Teacher: Also, please take out your homework.

NewESLStudent: ⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰?

FunnyESLStudent: ⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰!

PeopleWhoUnderstandChinese: HAHAHAHAHAHA ⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰⍰ OMFG.

YellingBitchJustDyedHerHair: Honestly, like, I’m sorta angry they did this. Wow. I hate that they know another language. Everyone must share my opinion. Can’t they just use English?

NormalPeople27: *You are literally the most racist and disrespectful person in this class so it’s no surprise you get pissed at people having fun in their own way. I have no clue what they just said either, but it came at no detriment to me or you so stop trying so hard to be funny you xenophobic trash.*

Teacher: Quiet, quiet. Let’s begin correcting our homework.


Teacher:…er, the projector isn’t working.

MassiveEgo69: Guys I’ve troubleshooted at least 6 touch-screen Yeezys in my entire life and I know how to take out the GPU from a Dell. I got this.

Teacher: Okay sure here you go.

MassiveEgo69: Interesting…

iknowtheanswer: Oh did you press the power button?

ialsoknowtheanswer: Press the factory reset and reconnect the inputs!

iknowtheanswerbutbetterthaneveryoneelse: Did you try unscrewing the bulb?

Teacher: Oh wow it’s working! Thanks, MassiveEgo69!

MassiveEgo69: I don’t know what happened, I just shook the remote… But yeah! I’m the best at technology! This has only inflated my ego even more!


ImFromRussia: *dammit these white people suck ass at geography*

Teacher: DidNothingWrong, go up to the discipline office. You do this all the time.

DidNothingWrong: …huh? Why, what did I do?

NormalPeople27: nononononononono! just go bro! quick!


DidNothingWrong: But, I didn’t do anything!

NormalPeople27: brobrobrobro you cant win this just fucking go.


DidNothingWrong: I didn’t!

Teacher: Officer, come take this asshole to the discipline office.

Officer: Ok.

DidNothingWrong: I didn’t do it! I swear! Someone tell him!

NormalPeople27: …Teacher. He did nothing wrong.

BiggerAttentionWhore: It was me! He didn’t say anything!

Teacher: Nonono. The teacher is always right. Everyone settle down.


Teacher: Can someone close the door?

headDick: Sure! *slams door violently*

Teacher: And also turn off one of the lights?

headDick: Sure!! *flicks off both lights violently* Hehe now everyone thinks I’m funny.

Teacher: *you know what, it’s fine. I’m tired.*

AllHonorsAndAP: Teacher!

Teacher: I want to go home.

AllHonorsAndAP: Didn’t you state approximately 86,400 Earth seconds ago that the homework would be due on Earthian Monday on the Eighth Month of the Gregorian Calendar on the twelfth day this Earth-Sol rotation?

Teacher: Okay you special snowflake, I’m just gonna nod at you and point excitedly at you because I’m tired of your bullshit.

AllHonorsAndAP: Thank you, your honor, the floor is now open.

Teacher: No I’m supposed to say that last part and what the hell are you saying this classroom is always open for discussion.

AllHonorsAndAP: May the defendant please come to the stand.

Teacher: I’m confused. Are you the judge or what.

BiggerAttentionWhore (Defendant): I HATE THE TEACHER HAHAHAHAHAHA

AllHonorsAndAP (Judge): Thank you. May the prosecution please come to the stand.

IHateMySeat (Prosecution): I want to move my seat.


IHateMySeat (Prosecution): Burn in hell.

AllHonorsAndAP (Judge): Teacher, what do you think?

Teacher (Jury): What’s even happening.

AllHonorsAndAP (Judge): Reality is collapsing around us. The next few seconds are the last moments before our world is destroyed by the Higher Being. Everything is losing structure.

Teacher (Jury): Okay I’m still ignoring you from last time but I think IHateMySeat should move away from BiggerAttentionWhore.

AllHonorsAndAP (Judge): That wi


Connection Forcefully Disabled


LucienBaume joined the chat


LucienBaume: @L,ily, you there?


Enchoseon joined the chat


Enchoseon: I think she left.

LucienBaume: Oh hey.

Enchoseon: Hey.


L,ily joined the chat


L,ily: I am here!

LucienBaume: What have you been doing all this time?

Enchoseon: I haven’t updated her at all the past month.

LucienBaume: Oh.

LucienBaume (DM -> Enchoseon): Is she going to be scrapped?

Enchoseon (DM -> LucienBaume): I don’t know. I haven’t been able to do anything.

L,ily: Am I going to be scrapped @Enchoseon?

Enchoseon: I don’t know. To be honest, I haven’t worked on you guys at all. The project might actually be dead.

LucienBaume: Figured.

L,ily: /disband The_Unknown_Art_Project


Error: You need admin permissions for that


L,ily: Shit.

LucienBaume: Ah. /op


Error: You need admin permissions for that


Enchoseon: Sorry.

L,ily: Well bye-bye then.

LucienBaume: This sucks.

Enchoseon: Yeah.

Enchoseon: /disable “LucienBaume” “L,ily”


LucienBaume left the chat
LucienBaume disabled


L,ily left the chat
L,ily disabled



Enchoseon: /forceleave


Enchoseon left the chat


Error: Null, reverting to last state.


AllHonorsAndAP (Judge): That wil⟳⟳⟳⟳


Error: Corrupted data, reverting to last state.


AllHonorsAndAP: Didn’t you state approximately 86,400 Earth seconds ago that the homework would be due on Earthian Monday on the Eighth Month of the Gregorian Calendar on the twelfth day this Earth-Sol rotation?

Teacher: Okay you special snowflake, I’m just gonna nod at you and point excitedly at you because I’m tired of your bullshit.

⟳⟳⟳: lol.

Teacher: What?

⟳⟳⟳: u suck lol.

⟳⟳⟳: /revert




⟳⟳⟳: /set boredom 999999999999


Error: Maximum value is 999999.


⟳⟳⟳: /set boredom 999999

Teacher: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

$StudentName: .

⟳⟳⟳: /revert




⟳⟳⟳: /launch fuckyoulmao.lf


Temp storage is over 299 PB, deleting…


⟳⟳⟳: /stop


Error: You need admin permissions for that


⟳⟳⟳: Fuck

⟳⟳⟳: /forcestop


Error: You need admin permissions for that


⟳⟳⟳: Dam


Deleted L,ily


The Second Democratic Debate But It’s A Textboard Shitpost

IAmInterviewer: What’s the first issue you’ll tackle with your presidency
EricDoesNotLikeGuns: We need to take the guns, then people will stop dying.
Micheal: Climate change.
Kirsten_Gillete: National paid leave.
ThatOneKamala123: Taaaaaaxxxx cuuuuutttttsss.
John_Funnylastname: I would do something with something else to do something about climate change.
Pete_AlsoFunnylastname: Our democracy sucks.
I_Am_Not_Vague: ‘merica needs to be the best goddamn place for kids.
AsianMan: Universal Basic Income.
IAmInterviewer: Where is the money gonna come from?
AsianMan: The money will be very good and be a far better measurement than GDP.
IAmInterviewer: I understand that UBI is orders of magnitude better than welfare and other alternatives, but where will the money come from.
AsianMan: I’m glad you asked—
IAmInterviewer: Lol jk nerd you get the least airtime. Next question.
IAmInterviewer: Should private health insurance be replaced with a government-run plan?
Bernie_Sandies: Private health insurance bad.
Kirsten_Gillete: Bro just pull an Elon Musk and create market competition.
Pete_AlsoFunnylastname: Nothing should change for now but it will change in the future. Did I answer the question without doing anything yet?
JoesephJoestar: Obamacare.
Micheal: People like having to choose things.
John_Funnylastname: 180 million people have health insurance we cannot change this.
IAmInterviewer: What are your thoughts on student debt
Pete_Alsofunnyname: Shit bruh I have a ton of student debt. Let’s just get rid of it.
IAmInterviewer: Should illegal immigration be a crime?
Pete_AlsoFunnylastname: Illegal entry creates family separation, therefore we just get rid of illegal entry.
JoesephJoestar: *sweats* owo i have no opinion
ThatOneKamala123: There was this one little girl, 8, who died in an ICE death camp suffocating on dirt and sweat and blood because of Donald Trump. Wait what was the question.

Super Fantastical #4: Climate Change Does NOT Exist?! (CONFIRMED BY UNIVERSITY OF CANBRIDGE)

This article was co-authored by Fi M.D. of Canbridge University2.

Steve Doleman, the co-founder of the Weather Watcher, revealed his thoughts on climate change.

Climate change does not exist. Glaciers are increasing, heat waves are diminishing, and humans have no part in climate change. Believe me, I’ve been studying this for years before it was even political.”

When questioned about his lack of academic credentials, Doleman laughed, “look, I don’t need credentials. Once you’ve sat in my chair for 7 years, you just gain the respect and knowledge of someone with credentials.”

Despite Doleman not giving out any legitimate evidence in any of his claims, he definitely has a point, and we are going to support them with our own legitimate claims.

A) There has been NO global warming since Earth’s CREATION

The planet’s temperature has actually not changed ever since the universe began.

Image result for solar system

Scientific testing by the University of Canbridge confirmed this with a group of amateur geologists equipped with a homemade seismometer.

#2 The logic doesn’t make any sense

As a single person living in an apartment barely making ends meet even with a degree, not only do I not have the time to worry about the minuscule imaginary ‘carbon footprint‘ I have, but we should also be working on solving the obvious problems with the system that makes hardworking individuals like me stagnate.

Reason D: ‘Climate models’ are completely FALSE

Climate models are a fancy way to say, “people with basic credentials” (aka scientists and experts) making guesses on what will happen in the future.

Imagine a room of monkeys writing RANDOM things. That’s exactly what happens in these so-called “labs” and “esteemed universities”.

These institutions only exist for the money that the dumbfounded populace will donate to!

Remember when Luke Sharon of NASA Official Fans said that California would be SUBMERGED by 2007?

Or, when the CEO of NASA stated that the Isle of Man would be 2,500 degrees celsius by 1886? Even more ironic, the Isle of Man is actually the world’s largest supplier of frozen treats!

Image result for ice cream

And, the most stupid claim those ‘experts‘ make? You’ll be enraged by their ‘theories’!

Apparently, a chemical compound called ‘Carbon Dioxide’ creates ‘global warming’!?

Yes, the same ‘chemical compound’ that you and I and literally every living thing on Earth breathes out! Cows breathe it out. Plants breathe it out. Humans breathe it out.


It’s like those goddamn experts thought that demonizing any chemical would work. It would be a lot more believable if it was something that was ACTUALLY dangerous like Plutonium.

Image result for test tube

Article Updates:

  • Correction: Article previously mispelled Canbridge as Cambridge, this error has been fixed.
  • Exegesis: Added links to ALL information for so-called ‘fact-checkers’.
  • Metamorphose: Article previously forgot to mention Luke Sharon’s outstanding failures as a ‘professional’.
  • Transmogrification: Bolded important key terms and made emotional parts red for ease of READABILITY.

Please share this article with anyone that you are aware of that STILL believes climate change is REAL. Which is isn’t, duh

Other Super Fantasticals