I’m typing this in the MPR while we wait for the ceremony to start.
Everybody else is wearing super-fancy suits. It makes me feel underdressed.
I have time to kill, so I’ll go over the stuff that has happened so far:
I woke up today feeling groggy and didn’t want to go to the ceremony. And then, after a string of relatively mundane morningy events involving struggling with a bow-tie and putting on old pants that somehow still fit me, I managed to get in the car and found myself standing inside the school, still groggy and half-awake.
I was surprised by all the kids who usually wore raggy clothes wearing vests, suits, and dresses. (Somebody was even wearing a necklace made of candy.)
The Boring Ceremony
When I sat down on my seat, Pomp & Circumstance was blasting on the speakers and I probably lost a few hairs in my cochlea.
After a series of medium-long speeches in the scorching hot sun (turns out, it was actually very hot, I thought it’d be a cold morning) we all did the weird handshake thing I mentioned in the previous post.
I didn’t screw up out as much this time, but I messed up the walk-back-to-your-seat-at-the-same-speed-of-the-person-next-to-you thing they told us to do. (I got so caught up in trying to run away that I completely forgot the instructions.)
Something that surprised me was the sheer amount of people at the ceremony. There were over 2,000 people. And for someone like me, that’s a life-or-death situation. I thought that there’d only be enough to fill about half of the field, but they filled the entire field. They were waving signs, yelling, pointing, and giving me much more stress than I was expecting.
Thanks To Vineyard Junior High!
I gotta hand it off to everybody who made middle school a bearable experience.
Because if I don’t, they might hire a hitman to come after me, and I know that at least four of my teachers are aware that I run this site, and while teachers aren’t rich, you can never be too cautious. They might start a Go Fund Me to raise the funds to hire a hitman.
I appreciate all of the VJHS staff. So here’s a big listicle. Hopefully I don’t forget anybody, or else I’ll be assassinated before I get the chance to go to Japan.
She knows how to move balloons with her ESP powers. She took over as principal in the beginning of my 7th grade year, but she also managed to keep the transition clean.
Great Vice Principal
I’m betting five bucks that she also has ESP powers.
Great Dean of Students
She knows how to make me extremely anxious when I’m sitting in her office. She has this tactic of creating a weird pause and a brief silent stare before looking at her computer screen, and then looking back and slowly draining whatever confidence you had with her stare. She does this in the span of about ten seconds. I’ve never seen someone use psychological warfare with such unfathomable skill. I’m 99% sure she’s secretly part of the FBI.
Great 7th Grade ELA Teacher (Who Also Did 8th Grade Film)
He played in the band “Sapphire Creek” and is a massive Beatles fan. His class was definitely fun. He also has his own site, which I just found out about as I was editing this post. You can go visit it here.
Great 8th Grade Math Teacher
She taught at the high school level for some time and recently picked up a job as Vice Principal at a different school (her goal is to become a principal.) She also has a thing for penguins.
Great 8th Grade ELA Teacher
She’s the one who jokingly suggested I start a blog and post my drawings. I owe her the initial drive to make me start this site. But I sorta messed up and put my writing on the site instead of the doodles, oops.
Great 7th and 8th Grade PE Teachers
One of them certainly smiled more than the other. But they both made me sweat like crazy. One of my favorite quotes from my 7th grade PE teacher is, “don’t do the easy route! Always do the hard route!” Sure, you do that and I’ll do my thing.
Great 7th Grade Math Teacher
He has some mad hoop-dancing skills, and his monotone style of teaching was honestly a nice break from the much more hectic classes I had as a 7th grader.
He also really enjoyed playing the song White Christmas over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over during December. I’m pretty sure he brainwashed us.
He also has a Facebook, so go be his friend. Of course, like any person on Facebook, he doesn’t explicitly say he’s a math teacher because it sounds less exciting than being a cool hoop dancer.
Great 8th Grade Social Studies Teacher
She’s one of the few teachers who were honestly the most normal. Her class was the most peaceful and one of the easiest ones for me to be fully productive.
Great 8th Grade Art Teacher
She was one of the more weird/fun/interesting teachers I had. Being in her class meant having fun for a good grade on the report card. But it also meant being in a perpetual state of somewhat-controlled chaos, because why not. While my academic GPA didn’t go up, my GPA was good enough to impress my parents, which is all that matters.
Great 7th Grade Science Teacher
He was one who did the SexEd class without breaking a smirk.
Great 7th Grade Band Teacher
Alright, so I left band in 8th grade so that I could go home and mope around in bed in a consistent and predictable schedule. But during the one year I was there (even though I had signed up for percussion as a pianist and always got the practice pads in class and in concerts) he managed to yell at the trumpets enough until they were able to stay slightly on tempo.
Ted is awesome. He keeps the school from falling into ruin and also stops alien abductions. (The rest of the staff help him spread the alien bait to keep them off-campus.) After school he also performs magic rituals to ward off demons from the school. You can’t get much better than that.
Great 7th Grade Social Studies Teacher
So I’ll be honest. I suck at social studies and I only got decent-enough grades. Despite my insane amount of screwing up, I wasn’t forcefully kicked out, which is something I’m thankful for.