Super Fantastical #4: Climate Change Does NOT Exist?! (CONFIRMED BY UNIVERSITY OF CANBRIDGE)

This article was co-authored by Fi M.D. of Canbridge University1.

Steve Doleman, the co-founder of the Weather Watcher, revealed his thoughts on climate change.

Climate change does not exist. Glaciers are increasing, heat waves are diminishing, and humans have no part in climate change. Believe me, I’ve been studying this for years before it was even political.”
—Doleman

When questioned about his lack of academic credentials, Doleman laughed, “look, I don’t need credentials. Once you’ve sat in my chair for 7 years, you just gain the respect and knowledge of someone with credentials.”

Despite Doleman not giving out any legitimate evidence in any of his claims, he definitely has a point, and we are going to support them with our own legitimate claims.

A) There has been NO global warming since Earth’s CREATION

The planet’s temperature has actually not changed ever since the universe began.

Image result for solar system

Scientific testing by the University of Canbridge confirmed this with a group of amateur geologists equipped with a homemade seismometer.

#2 The logic doesn’t make any sense

As a single person living in an apartment barely making ends meet even with a degree, not only do I not have the time to worry about the minuscule imaginary ‘carbon footprint‘ I have, but we should also be working on solving the obvious problems with the system that makes hardworking individuals like me stagnate.

Reason D: ‘Climate models’ are completely FALSE

Climate models are a fancy way to say, “people with basic credentials” (aka scientists and experts) making guesses on what will happen in the future.

Imagine a room of monkeys writing RANDOM things. That’s exactly what happens in these so-called “labs” and “esteemed universities”.

These institutions only exist for the money that the dumbfounded populace will donate to!

Remember when Luke Sharon of NASA Official Fans said that California would be SUBMERGED by 2007?

Or, when the CEO of NASA stated that the Isle of Man would be 2,500 degrees celsius by 1886? Even more ironic, the Isle of Man is actually the world’s largest supplier of frozen treats!

Image result for ice cream

And, the most stupid claim those ‘experts‘ make? You’ll be enraged by their ‘theories’!

Apparently, a chemical compound called ‘Carbon Dioxide’ creates ‘global warming’!?

Yes, the same ‘chemical compound’ that you and I and literally every living thing on Earth breathes out! Cows breathe it out. Plants breathe it out. Humans breathe it out.

CO2 IS COMPLETELY NATURAL!

It’s like those goddamn experts thought that demonizing any chemical would work. It would be a lot more believable if it was something that was ACTUALLY dangerous like Plutonium.

Image result for test tube


Article Updates:

  • Correction: Article previously mispelled Canbridge as Cambridge, this error has been fixed.
  • Exegesis: Added links to ALL information for so-called ‘fact-checkers’.
  • Metamorphose: Article previously forgot to mention Luke Sharon’s outstanding failures as a ‘professional’.
  • Transmogrification: Bolded important key terms and made emotional parts red for ease of READABILITY.

Please share this article with anyone that you are aware of that STILL believes climate change is REAL. Which is isn’t, duh

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