Super Fantastical #1: Jane Austenian Romance

Welcome to the first installment of the Super Fantastical series, a serious series of plays, stories, etc.

Keep in mind that the different Super Fantasticals are only linked if they are specified to be linked. Otherwise, they are separate stories.


Chapter The Beginning

Mrs. Blennet smiled, “darling, Mrs. ____ was just telling me the other day how That One Place just received a new tenant.”

Mr. Blennet leaned back in his chair fancifully, “and why would I care?”

“Darling, I think it’d be best to go meet him next week at the ball!”

“Dear, I am going to make myself very clear here, I am not actually going to sound interested in this so that you continue your amusing rambling and then I will continue to mess with you until you are absolutely convinced and it will be then that I do a complete reverse because I am a very sarcastic and amusing character.”

It is at this point that a faceless narrator summarizes what has happened or what will happen. In this case, it is the latter. Unbeknownst to senile old lady, Mr. Blennet had intended to visit the new tenant the whole time.

Chapter The Middle Part

Lydia looked out the window wistfully, “oh I do hope that my dear Lickham returns soon.”

Mrs. Blennet ran into the room, trying not to trip on her skirt like an idiot. “I just saw Mr. Lickham’s carriage coming this way! Everyone, quick, put on your best dresses and hats!”

Mr. Blennet folded his newspaper and put on his glasses fancifully, uncrossing his legs and taking a fanciful sip of tea from the fanciful china Mrs. Blennet had put away somewhere and forgotten about fancifully.

Mr. Blennet stood up and grabbed his fanciful cane and proceeded to greet the new visitors.

Elizabeth overheard  Mr. Blennet greeting the visitors, “I trust you gentlemen had a fanciful journey.”

Elizabeth drew back in shock, “gentlemen? Does that mean, no, it couldn’t!”

Mr. Barcy walked into the house, ducking under the doorway just in time to pull his fancifully tall tophat through.

Mrs. Blennet ducked around the corner and whispered to the girls, “girls, go seduce both of those men. Statistically speaking, at least one of us is bound to score.”

As the girls paraded into the parlor while trying to look as nonchalant as possible, Mrs. Blennet ran around the house rearranging chairs and other furniture into fanciful formations sure to please the visitors.

Chapter A Continuation Of The Last Part

Mr. Lickham greeted Lydia fancifully with a soft romantic kiss that started out awkwardly but ended in an intimate manner with some gasping in between.

Mr. Barcy stood in the corner of the room with a judgemental look in his eyes. Noone dared bother him except Elizabeth.

“Mr. Barcy, you are an asshole” Elizabeth told him.

Mr. Barcy remained composed, “I am not.”

Elizabeth continued, “Mr. Lickham told me.”

Mr. Barcy’s face contorted into a raisin and he dramatically lowered his voice, “be careful around Lickham.” He walked away from Elizabeth and into another corner of the room, brooding mysteriously.

Chapter Whatever

Elizabeth stared in wonder at That One Place. A bunch of adjectives really described it in a wonderfully symbolic way and Elizabeth grimaced at the memory of her turning down Mr. Barcy.

“Wait, does this make me look like a money-hunting whore?” she thought to herself as she entered the fanciful building.

Before she had a chance to mentally escape her self doubts, Mr. Barcy fancifully came down a flight of stairs. Their eyes met, and they both blushed.

Mr. Barcy mustered up his most intimate voice, “greetings, Elizabeth, would you like to have a tour of my estate? My chambermaids can make some pretty good Gyurma sausages.”

He muttered under his breath, “fuck I’m not very good at flirting at all.”

“Mr. Barcy, you are aware that I can still hear your muttering since you’re still close to me, right?” Elizabeth asked.

“Shit, well. Bye then.”

“Bye.”

Mr. Barcy walked back up the fanciful stairs at a fanciful pace, looking back only once because the stairs were in a spiral formation that forced him to look back while he was looking forward because circles are like that.

Chapter The Ending Part

Lady Catherine DeBitch coughed fancifully into Mrs. Blennet’s china set.

“I am here to discuss private matters with Elizabeth” she wheezed.

Everyone except Elizabeth filed out of the room.

“Do not marry my son” DeBitch instructed.

“No.”

“No u.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Fuck.”

DeBitch stood up and left, “I’ll be back.”

Chapter The Ending Part For Real

they got married the end okay

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